28 July 2009
At some points, I feel worried - worry that I might have encounter something unpleasant. I have no idea on how my biological body is performing now. No idea at all. Sigh...
Well eggie, stop your imagination and you shall sleep now. You're only too tire and all you have to do know is to take a long nap. Tomorrow will be another brand new day.
Ok. Fine. That will do. Good night my friends..
P/s: Sorry if I have kept you waiting for my updates. I don't feel comfortable enough to write something when my body and mind don't allow me to do so. I loss my concentration which is really upsetting. Anyway, you will see new post whenever I am ready.... *hugs*
Good day everyone.
24 July 2009
I still remember, each conversation with him will ended up in decreasing my self confident because he is so much concern with my physical look. Well, I didn't mind to give him another chance to chat with me, in the hope that my perception on him will slightly change. Who know I might be wrong and what he had said before is sincerely for my own good? I believe in everyone deserve a second chance, or more.
So, the conversation is exactly like this, (copy and paste) just I have changed his name.
Stranger : Hi. How is things?
Me : Morning. ya.. things good. How bout u?
Stranger : I m ok. have u ever thinking of changing ur hairstyle?
Me : Ya. thought of that. till the day I have enough with long hair. y?
Stranger : Didnt mean u should cut ur hair ...but i different looks. should be refreshing. go for it...i support u.
Me : haha.. yup. i did go to my hair stylist and she doesn't allow me to shorten my hair. she said keep it for another a month or so, then only cut. i will change when my mood is there.. :)
Stranger : U should try a new looks. tat lift u up to another level
Me : Thanks. I wonder... what is the another level u mean?
Stranger : hiaw si. keep adding guy
Me : o_O. lol... i am not interested in that..
Stranger : Facebook is ur waiting list ka? haha
Me : Waiting list?
Stranger : the quit for u to choose from
Me : lol.. haha... well they are plenty but then I don't hope to use physical look to attract ppl
Stranger : er...trust me...u r not. haha
Me : haha.. i guess i know what u mean. not attractive enough when come to physical look right? don worry. i can still survive.. :)
Stranger : dont be sad la. u not tat bad
Me : haha. don't worry. i am not sad.. :)
Stranger : just u r not the Magen Fox type...u know *he even spelled her name wrongly*
Me : i can't be because it is not me. but others can.. trust me
Right after I typed that last sentence, I closed the conversation box and decided not to reply. I seriously got annoyed with such person who keep on complaining and advising me to improve my physical look ever since the first day he chatted with me. You see, if he knows me personally in real life and is a very close friend of mine, I don't mind accepting critics and suggestion. However, this guy who is a complete stranger to me has to rely on photos I uploaded in Facebook or my blog to give his professional critics.
Do you think I should accept whatever he had said to me?
No and never.
Criticizing on someone's physical look is something I hate the most as they don't even know how to define and respect uniqueness. If every female has to be like Jessica Alba or Megan Fox (like he said), why doesn't God just create human to use asexual reproduction like binary fusion, budding and etc rather than the complicated sexual reproduction? Then you can have Megan Fox at every corner of the globe like this:
Using asexual reproduction...
Well, He doesn't because he wants to create everyone with own uniqueness in every aspect starting from mentally, physically and spiritually. If you want to just focus on the physical look, ok then. Answer me, why do we have different DNA and fingers print?
I have enough toleration with such people and I will not give a damn on what they had or will say on me. I guess, I should make my words strong and bold to send the message to those who are concerning on my or others physical appearance.
"I respect myself for being who I am and I am grateful to both of my parents for bringing me into this world with the permission of God. I may not have an out-standing look which will kill anyone by just one glance. However, I will not complain. In fact, I accept myself and am concern with what I can contribute to the world rather than hiding at a corner, regretting for not being born like Megan Fox".
By the way, I am not planning to be a super model or celebrity. So, please.. stop complaining on how I look. If you don't feel comfortable with it, don't visit my blog. Enough said.
I guess, sometimes I am too nice to people which in the end allow them to take advantages of me. If you know me personally, you will know that I am an open-minded person and I can accept whatever joke or critic. However, there is a limit and I will stand up and combat to disrespect statement when I can feel the stretches at heart and fire in mind.
My favorite quota of the day:
21 July 2009
Lately, I am busy organizing and adapting myself with new timetable for this semester. Things seemed to be a bit rocky before I get the final approval from the office. There are a few changes I need to adapt especially with the campus new rules and long study hour. Guess what? The longest day I have to spend in the campus is from 8a.m-7.30pm. It is like 12 hours!
I believe by this week, things will be better and I can be rest assure with my plan. Will try update my blog whenever I am ready.
Thanks for being here whenever you can. I really appreciate it.
19 July 2009
Well, it wasn't my fault for not keeping in touch with them because I was too small to understand how important to have a good, systematic phone and address book to keep all my important contacts. Besides, there is no any advance electronic devices back in 90's in which there is no mobile phone with GPRS or internet services nor computer with high speed internet connection.
Communication is so hard that you have to choose either to make an expensive call via the phone or write letter which will only reach in at least 1 week time. I preferred writing letter to my besties when I moved to Penang at the age of 11. The experience of writing letters were great as the motivation in replying each other was so high which I thought none of us will give up and stopped. However, as we grew up and learned to accept more responsibilities with school work and house work, each of us started to reduce the frequency in writing. From 2 weeks a letter, slowly turned into one year a letter. How sad...
Slowly, the bonds between my old friends and I are weaken and unconsciously, the connection seemed to be broken ever since then. I didn't realize this till lately, when I met my old best friend, Irene who was out of the sudden agreed to stay a day at my house. It has been nearly 2 years I never met her. Well, she is the only one (my primary school friend) who I always get in touch with.
Old memories seemed to rush back and refill my brain. Some missing puzzles which I thought they have lost forever came back and fit in those missing hole. I started to remember some of my ex-classmates, starting from the mischievous one, the funny one, the smart one and the quiet one. Even some of the mean teachers who had pulled my ears and stomach were being recalled.
It was great to have a mini gathering with Irene and Calvin last Friday where each of us grabbed the opportunity to update each others news. We tried to fill in whatever we have missed and tried to build back the connection. Well, I wasn't sure how far it has been, but I know it is a good start.
Playing with the mirror when I was in my old working place with Irene - Fashion Avenue 2210. It has changed from a big local designer boutique turned into a small one.
After the mini gathering, Irene and I had tried to explore and add some of our primary school friends in Facebook. It was a fruitful moment because I had managed to find about 8-10 friends. The only thing I can do now is to wait for their approval and introduce myself whenever there is a chance. I hope they can still remember me.
Well, if they still can't recognize me, then I should go back to my hometown and dig out all my primary school photos, scan and show them. Lol.. What a good idea. By the way, I guess I didn't chance much?
17 July 2009
These photos have just reminded me on how tasty the food is when the three of us, May, Mrs J and I decided to give Nagomi a try when we were wandering around the mall, few weeks ago.
I shall say, it is a real good choice to have lunch together with 2 students and one teacher in such a quiet yet comfortable environment. I seriously love the setting and the decoration as they match my mood and feeling. Good one!
I have hardly been to any Japanese restaurant if not Sushi King, Shogun, Saisaki and Jagoya (wait, is Jagoya included too). So, spending time in exploring the menu and experimenting the food has become a fun activity for the three of us.
While waiting for the food, we had a real long conversation and at the same time didn't stop ourselves from cam-whoring. Well, there is no way a blogger, especially me, myself will miss a chance for photo capturing right? Or else, there will be no use, bringing digital camera along.
So, here are our set lunch!
P/s: You know what, I am starving here. I just can't stop my mouth from watering, staring at all these pictures and things wouldn't be this worse if I didn't do that painful surgery on my wisdom tooth few days ago. I am glad I ate something as nice as this before the surgery. Well, no worries, my sunshine will come back again and I will eat whatever I fancy! Muahaha.. XD
Most of my friends are curious to know that why I am so close with my secondary school teacher even until now? Well, I guess she is a sweet, warm, kind and generous teacher who will try her best to get in touch with her students no matter how far the distance is. I am glad to know her and I am serious.
I am waiting for more outing with her in future.
When ya teacher?
15 July 2009
Round and round and round and round and round.....
Round and round and round and round and round and round..
I guess I am too tired and need more rest. That hideous hole on my gum as a result of the wisdom tooth surgery not long ago has slightly increased my body temperature. Fever? Oh no. Don't. Please.
I should really get some sleep now. Good night Harry Potter.
See you in the cinema, very soon.
13 July 2009
Now I have goosebumps all over my hands!!
Minor surgery had been carried out last Friday and everything was alright till this morning, when I was miserably facing the terrifying pain on the gum. Gosh! It is so horrible! The Dr has never mentioned about the pain. Well, thanks to the pain killer for postponing my pain till today. Hmpm!
So, just an hour ago, I met my dentist again and we had discovered that my gum is being affected by bacteria. Some pieces of food had entered the hole and was clinging around the stitches which in the end encouraging the growth of bacteria.
Everything is ok now as the doctor has removed the food and put some anti-bacteria medicine on the infectious area. I am feeling much, much, much better.
Look like there is no way I can skip this menu for another 1 week:
The 'Someone-Who-Lost-Her-Wisdom-Tooth' MenuFriday - White porridge
Saturday - Fish porridge (shouldn't take)
Sunday - Sup Noodles, breads (shouldn't take)
Chicken Chop, Smash potatoporridge!
Fried Sotong Noodleporridge!
The Following days - Mystery
Now, I know why people always say that having a set of healthy teeth is crucial.
Sigh.. I am hungry.
11 July 2009
Well, I do agree with them as I love my personal site and admire how my brains work every time I blog something new. We all know that writing, photography and photo editing use both of the right and left brains, yes? Other than keeping my brains working, it is also because of my loyal readers who have never stopped supporting and encouraging me ever since my first attempt in writing a post.
I remember Dalicia happen to be my first reader as well as my first commenter. There is no way I would forget about this sweet lady. Of course, I will not forget my other readers who are also bloggers and my friends keep coming back, checking how I am from time to time.
Some even motivate and encourage me during my down moments. I remember when I received bad critiques from 'some people' who think I am not perfect enough. They critique on my writings and worse on my appearance (something I can't and will not change). Frankly, such ignorance comments did bother me. I even thought of shutting down my blog. Well, I obviously not doing so because I realize that I love myself. I love being who I am and this belief grows stronger each time I read your supportive comments:
The time when others demotivating me:
The time when I have reached my 21st Birthday and blogged a post about it:
The time when my grandma, my loved one left me, forever.
No matter you are committed into my commenting system or not, I can still sense your footprints. Well, are you asking how do I know you are here? Em... there is always Sitemeter which does all the exploring and examining work. It counts the number of visitors and lists down all the links which come to my blog every single day.
I know, my number of readers isn't high and it is inconsistent each month. You know what, I don't mind if my readership is low. What I care the most is the sincere comments which I received from my readers. Those who treat me as a friend and respect whoever I am is something I treasure the most.
I shall thanks to all my RSS readers too who have been subscribing to my blog feeds. It is such a pleasure to see the number grows each time I glance at the meter. How sweet.. :)
Thus, why can't I love my readers more?
And why can't I say they mean so much to me as they are one of the reasons I am still keeping this blog for more than 2 years. If it is not because of the unconditional love I received everyday from you, this blog might not survive for the first 6 months. Call me stupid or unprofessional. Well, I don't mind what others might say because this is honestly what I feel so far.
Knowing that Lurve, the new flavored mutigrain chips product from Kraf is organizing a blog competition, I decided to participate and write a love post for all my readers who have never failed to curve a smile on my face. I want you to know that you guys mean a lot to me and thanks for creating such a memorable memory in my life. All your supporting and humorous comments will never been forgotten and I will treasure them as long as my comment systems allow me to do so.
10 July 2009
Do you know what is the most unforgettable breakfast you can get in any part of the Hainan Islands? Something which is simple, cheap and tastes good.
Kopi O+ yau char kway+ white porridge
Trust me, you will never forget the aroma and taste of the local black coffee with 'yau char kway' (you tiao) once it teases your nostril and running around your taste buds. You will in the end wanting for more till you have forgotten your lunch, or maybe dinner.
Now, I hope Oldtown or any other Hainan Kopitiam in Malaysia will consider serving this for breakfast. Or else, I will have to wait till I go back to Hainan again.
08 July 2009
My family and I had stayed till 4am just to watch the whole MJ Memorial via CNN live. Words, songs and dances from Micheal Jackson's family and close friends have really teared my heart apart. What makes my heart sank is that no one ever remember his good deed, his contribution to the world until he is dead. Before this, accusation, rumours and gossips were what we always heard from the media. That's really upsetting.
I must say, I am lucky enough to be able to listen to his friend and family tribute during in the memorial about Micheal Jackson. It makes me understand MJ more and I will take him as my role model for having a sincere and kind heart in helping the poor and the unfortunate one. You will never be forgotten - never ever in my life. That's for sure.
I love you, MJ.
Thanks God for giving me a chance to have him before.
P/s: I know I have blogged about him before and the media just can't stop reporting about him. Well, I don't care because I can't stop myself not thinking about him after looking at the memorial. His songs, his achievement, his family and friends have touched my heart, and always will.
Watch CNN for Micheal Jackson's Memorial if you haven't. It will bring you into emotional ride, just like what I am feeling now.
06 July 2009
"It isn't that bad. This place looks pretty good", I whispered to my mum who was sitting behind me.
It took about 10 minutes to travel from the town to the village. I remembered my grandma (who has passed away just one year ago) ever told me that it wasn't convenience at all to go back to my grandfather's hometown during 90's. Transportation and roads were the main problems before Sanya being recognized as one of the tourist sport in Hainan Province.
I believe I am lucky enough to be able to enter the village with no hassle because the tourist bus could stop us just in front of my ancestors' house. Thanks God! I can't imagine myself, walking 15km++ from the town to 'my roots'.
Well, yes. This is my roots, meaning that this is where my Tan family supposed to come from. If grandpa didn't take the daring move, walking weeks over weeks from the village to the town and swimming months over months to Malaysia, he would not have met my gorgeous grandma. Ok. I am just joking. He didn't swim across the South China Sea. He took the ship.. :)
Mum and I will never able to picture my late grandpa's life if we didn't step into this old house. We will never be able to understand the adjectives used by my grandmother without witnessing the objects and people around us although dad did snap some pictures few years back.
Frankly, I am glad he took the move to find a better fortune in Malaysia because I could not imagine my life staying here with no electricity, toilet attach, gas and water supply and proper bed. Let alone car, computer, mobile phone and television.
We called this as 'Satay house' because every house sticks so close together with front door and back door connecting each other.
Anyway, life in this village is far better than before. There are more facilities in this area including electricity and water supply. Besides, there are even education for children too. However, they fail to support the new generation in facing the fast changing world. Thus, most of the youngsters are moving out, trying to create a better life out there - and I agree.
The blue rabbit soft toy which I gave it to her during our first meeting ended up on the roof. I guess she doesn't know how to play with it.. :(
My other Tan family members as well as the villagers here are still depending on the river to survive. They drink, cook, wash and bath using this river water which used to be so clean but not anymore. I was there, capturing every evident I could get on their daily activities.
She only used dust (if I am not mistaken) and water from the river. Oh my God. Isn't clean? I believe their immune system must be really strong.. >.<
Spending one whole day here wasn't easy at all. Why?
- Firstly, I couldn't speak nor understand Hainanese (the main dialect) which supposed to be my mother tongue. Thus, I was having difficulty in communicating with my other relatives especially the elderly. They spoke like a bullet train!
- The weather was too hot and I kept on sweating. Thanks God, my aunt's new house has 2 fans.
- I kept on being attacked by mosquitoes. Hate them!
- There wasn't anything I can do other than snapping pictures. I believe my cousin, Kiiro felt the same too.
I shall say, life in this area isn't easy. However, I realized that they are happy and enjoy living with whatever they have without much complaining. Maybe you may conclude that they have used to this kind of living and thus, not needing any changes. Well, maybe you are right but then, when I think twice, sometimes life doesn't have to be perfect to gain happiness.
One can be genuinely happy even though the old house is half broken, living only with candle light at night, sleeping without mattress, cooking with charcoal, not owning any single penny and being isolated from the so-called advance world, he or she is still eligible to find happiness. As long as they know how to be thankful and give their best in their lives, happiness can still be achieved, right? Like I always says, "Complainer with no action is a loser".
I have found my roots, how about you?