05 June 2014

The Awaiting Enlightment In Siem Reap

 

About 10 days ago, I had decided to purchase flight tickets to Siem Reap, Cambodia where my friends are planning for another round of back packing experiences. It was a sudden plan when my inner self is craving for a new adventure for self-exploration and learning in a different environment, while also to accomplish my early age dream to visit Angkor Watt #oneday.

 

I am glad to made this decision as I enjoy myself in this mysterious town with a bunch of wonderful companies. I had never known that I am capable of riding on the motorbike all by myself from the airport till the backpacker homestay. It was a 20 minutes journey where we both with a hand luggage secured by his legs passing by hectares of quiet lands.

 

I did not know that I could make friend easily with other backpackers from Taiwan, Japan, Spain, China and Korea where we met in different places either in the homestay, temples, night market or restaurant.

 

I did not know that I could journal my experiences almost instantly through notebook, photos, instagram, facebook and blog. I thought, I will leave a peaceful life without technology and internet at least a week.

 

I did not know that I could be empathetic and having high sense of curiosity over the life of the local people in Cambodia. I have heard a lot of stories about life of local people in Cambodia and now, having my personal experiences has formed a richer and clearer pictures.

 

I can even connect with myself better when I am stepping into each area in Siem Reap – not just in the Angkor Watt Heritage Centre but the housing area as well.

 

And, I find peace and enlighten in Angkor Watt and I really appreciate my experiences so far. Everyday, is like a new chapter awaiting me to explore and discover more so that I can complete and collect the very chapter at the end of the day.

 

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May these peacefulness and mindfulness in me stay longer…….

27 May 2014

How Love Changes A Person - Me


Calv and I had just ended our conversation through Facebook call before I decided to make a quick blog post over something that comes very spontaneous to me.


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Photo taken at one of our favorite islands in Thailand.


Well, it is not that spontaneous after all when I have been thinking about this person for such a great, long time. The image, the voice, the warmth, the fun, the happiness and the joy that this person brings me since day one is unbelievably addictive.


Although we are in a distance relationship (and now marriage), my emotions and thoughts seemed to evolve around him. You might be surprised of why I become so sentimental in this post. I shall not question and I shall not hide my feelings for what I have been greatly affected by all his loves, cares, supports and efforts all these while.

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I feel safe and secure for I know that I will be guided and supported.


I notice that I have learned and grown so much ever since I know this person. This thought begins from a conversation that I had with my manager in this very afternoon. I have discovered that I am more organized and practical to my work. Besides that, I can be straight and directive in my conversation with good intention behind. Despite of the few values that I discovered, I also realized that I am more confident and being more acceptance of who I am before and now.


IMG_1442The gift.


Reasons for my growth and development are believed to be built through my inner strengths openness to learn from experiences, high achieving working environment, people around me and of course, from the loves that I have been blessed… *thank you* 


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The unexpected joyous moment.


Life is full of unpredictable challenges and I do have my down moments. My bed is not always full with beautiful and scented flowers. However, I am braver in facing upcoming challenges. I am happier in awaiting for tomorrows. I am hopeful to achieve shared and personal dreams.


Eh eh…. why I can see clouds and hear birds chirping around me? *dream*


Today, I even made a silly promise to my manager to keep me accountable with one action item. I do not plan to share it here yet, but this promise is made out of 2 reasons:


1) To achieve the dream that I have always wanted to accomplish
2) For love.

I even asked her to give me consequence (which I suggested).
If I don’t do X, I will buy magnum ice-cream for all the ‘failure’ I make throughout the year. Seem challenging uh? Oh well…. ‘Golden mouth has just spoken out’.. The promise must go on~


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Thank God for all the guidance and loves that you have shown me. Please, continue to guide and bless me with the ability to love, patience, wisdom and joy so that I can share with my loved one, my husband.

Good night <3


P/s: To you who are still waiting for your right one, I pray and hope that you will find him/her soon and receive the loves and joys that you wish for <3

15 May 2014

When June Leaves May

 

I mean,

when June (my friend’s name) leaves the organization on May – which is last Friday, it creates a space for me to think and reflect on everything that is happening in and around me. One of the reasons is because, I miss the bubbly and positive energy spread by her since the last 2 months. Although I rarely be in the office, I love and appreciate her aura.


And… today, we met for the very first time after the end of her internship with TFM. We were helping out at PWTC at the Teach For Malaysia booth for Teacher’s Day event. We hang out for dinner after the event and had a meaningful sharing on what we had learnt and accomplished in this first half of the year.


The 2 hours of conversation was deep and filled with gratitude for all the things that we had been through and learnt. We even clapped and cheered happily for each other’s little successes. Like what Calv commented in one of my latest FB photo, “Best friends u had ... Appreciate them well .....”. Indeed, she is one of the very pure souls that I treasure in my life.


Another best part that I love the most was when we brought out Psychology Theory and Counselling techniques onto the table and drew the connections with our current experiences. To our amazement, the philosophy and practice of the skills just come naturally to us despite of the non-counseling job that we are (were) currently doing.


From the conversation, I notice that I really love my job and happy working with my current role as a LDO (Leadership Development Officer) in Teach For Malaysia for 11 wonderful souls in 4 different schools. Besides, I also like the fact that I can work almost as closely as with my teammates’ students whenever I visit the school. This is the perfect platform for me to learn and grow using the knowledge, experiences and skills that I have to shape me to be a better individual.


This is just a simple post that I would want to record my thoughts and feelings after my personal reflection.


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Taken in LRT before the ‘goodbye’. Her smile is contagious!


If you are reading this (and I believe you will *insert self-confident), thank you dear Juney for all the love, thoughts and kind help.

I do not have siblings but I am thankful to have closed, meaningful friendships around me.

Before ending this post, there are 2 thoughts in my mind:

When you are facing challenges, what will you normally do?
Was the action that you do help you to grow or hinder you from progressing?

13 May 2014

Inner Voice Speaks

As the age grow older, I find myself not fancy attention from the public as much as I used to be. Well, I have to admit that I still like attention but only from people who are closed to me. I guess, this is called aging….

Aging…….

It is an enlightening Tuesday, and I have the urge to blog today – just to let my mind to be at ease with the environment which I am currently sitting with good companies next to me.

I visited the temple this morning for prayer. My heart was dancing in joy as I woke up this morning and I was delighted for the whole day. Today is Wesak Day and I gained peace and enlightenment during in the temple. It has been quite some times since I stepped into the temple with a feather-light heart.

No images of work. No pressure. Just an empty soul.


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Childhood memories were unexpectedly recalled when I was pouring the flower water onto the little Buddha body. The excitement upon receiving the yellow blessing string came naturally to me because when I was a little girl, I used to think that God will give me special protection from the evil and save me from any danger. I even had the thought that if I pray sincerely to God without any intention for return, I am a good girl and people around me will love me more. I guess, I haven’t reached 12 that time?


P/s: I still have such feeling and knowing that God’s power is beyond measure and I am always been guided and protected.


I was holding my palms together and closed my eyes in a meditative manner. I secretly send telepathy to my own brain, “Eggie, you have grown up! Look at you. You are 158cm tall now (not 80cm) with a husband, a family and a career. You are a woman!”.


It felt so good to remain silent for at least 45 minutes and being prayerful. I am certainly amazed by how far I have travelled till today. I know that I wouldn’t be able to be who I am today, and be where I am today without the blessing, guidance and loves from God and people around me. I know that I wouldn’t be able to grow as fast as I could without disappointment, struggles and challenges from people and environments.



Issue is indeed a constant lesson.
Experiences are indeed the best teacher.
People are indeed the best reflection of self.
Life is indeed unexplainable miracle.



While the chanting continued by the monks, images of important people flashed in my mind. Secretly, I reflected over the good deeds done by each of them and ended each image with gratitude and best wishes for them. I didn’t know how and why I did that but it just happened naturally – like I am at the end of my life and I am leaving my last words.


I love how it feels at the end of the prayer. It reminds me of how I used to feel when I was still a child being very curious and innocent with everything and everyone around me. It feels almost like a reborn of spirit and hopes for the future. Or, like a reformatted computer?


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I spent a good afternoon with new companies today at a very interesting cafe (which I am sitting currently) and they are Sue, Lexie and Jane. The coffee aroma and warm ambiance inspired me to open up my laptop and blog again. I love this feeling and I am thankful for the simplicity of happiness gained today.

 

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Trying out the frame in the shop that sells at the price of RM99….. emm…

 

Ohh… before ending this post, one #selfie from the 4 of us or it seems incomplete for the year 2014 trends.

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Happy Wesak day to all my Buddhist friends.
Happy weekdays for all my readers. You are being missed Red heart

 

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19 December 2013

What Life Has For Me

 

I am crying.

Crying and sobbing at the same time while reading my 3 year old blog post (Experiences Are The Best Teacher) with our ‘wedding first walk’ Thai song as the background music – I have no idea what is the name of this Thai song but it is my top favourite song for now.

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I am touched. I am happy. I am enlighten by what life has for me in these 3 years (and more). Reading and looking at my past through what I had written and posted made me emotional. Have I been this far? The first quote of the post that triggered my emotion:

“I begged Him to lead me to the road of happiness where I can find my cheerful smiles again. I was tired of driving in the round-about again, and again and I want to get out of there. Also, I pray that God will heal my broken heart, allowing me to give and take love again when I’m ready. I pray that I’ll be guided to my true love, someone who suit me best, deserves me and will treat me rightly and faithfully”.



I don’t know why I get so emotional by just reading my own writing. I guess, life has taught me so much and each lesson is so meaningful to me. I admitted that it is not easy to face and cure a broken heart. It is a daunting task. It was hard to face the day and night once the heart had been betrayed, but I am glad that I have grown stronger and happier day by day.


Because, I am blessed with a loving family – my parents whom have become my biggest support system in term of physically, mentally, emotionally and financially although sometimes, they will against my will due to different perspective. Despite of all, I know they care and love me so much that they are worried if I will fall and hurt myself.

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Because, I am blessed with a bunch of lovely buddies whom always care and support each other. All of us are busy with our personal life and career, but we always try our best to contact and reach to each other. Life now get much easier with FB and Whatsapp Smile

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His and mine buddies = Ours Winking smile

Remember how I used to call them my angels?

“Besides, I realize I am one lucky soul who is blessed with a bunch of beautiful angels. They are always right by my side through thick and thin, including my family and closed friends. I feel touched each time I received help or even a small wishes, prayer, hug or a simple hello as each of them mean so much to me. I guess, this is a valuable treasure that money can’t buy”.

 

Because, I am blessed with the career which I have gotten myself into by being a Teach For Malaysia fellow (first cohort). There, I have known and made closed bonds with a group of 48 fellows and a strong staff team. I have grown and developed professionally as a fellow and adding in valuable lesson into my personal growth. In these 2 years, I have learned so much from each fellow whom I have come across and now, we are as closed a family.

 

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Because, I am blessed to have taught these lovely 400+ kids in 2 years time. They are a 13-14 year old kids but they too, have taught me uncountable life lessons that have shaped me into being a better individual. I am truly touched and thankful for these kids (I miss them again.. Crying face)

 

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Because of all, I am blessed to have found a man who loves and appreciates me for who I am. I am touched by his effort to always be his best and relentlessly contributes to the relationship. Often, he is willing to compromise his needs just to fulfil mine. He respects and loves my parents because he knows they are my strongest support. He puts in efforts in knowing my closed buddies because they know I treasured them much (even made them involved in the proposal and wedding plans – twice!). He tried his best to understand my uncommon career path and gives me unconditional support despite that he thinks I am better off somewhere but TFM as a teacher. He even tried to make time to visit my workplace and students so that he could understand and support me better. Not to mention to all the preparation he had done for the proposal and our wedding.

 

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The proposal <3

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Calv and his ‘business lesson’ Smile

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A surprise from him~

 

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TFM family and us Smile

 

What else can I ask for? T__________T
What have I done in my late life?
Crying face Crying face Crying face Crying face Crying face 


Having Calv in my life has encouraged me to be my better version. He has taught me the meaning of love and how to love him and people around me more. Not perfect but I am learning each day.

I believe, I am emotional because I am thankful for the people I have in my life. I am emotional because I am grateful for the choices that I had made. I am emotional because my life is blessed with all the loving people and opportunities that come across. I am emotional because I can now celebrate for whoever I am today.


2012-2013 have been an amazing years because of all these people, the loves and the opportunities given. It is already 19th December 2013 and it is great to reflect on what I have done throughout the years.

Oh.. and thank you too Blogger for still keeping my blog although I am no longer active in blogging (I know, Calv is going to laugh at me again Sad smile ). I do think that it is good to keep this hobby not for fame but for personal reflection and to record my gratefulness to people around me.

Thank you for all the amazing experiences. I will be back again, dear bloggie.