Dancing In A Storm

I am affected with our local political news lately.
So much of negativity, racism, bias and harsh. I could feel that I am stressed out not just because of my personal tasks, but with all the issues which are happening around me.

I care for my nieces and nephews.
I care for my future children.
I care for my students.
I care for my family.
I care for my nation.
I care for our future.

 

Because I care too much, this is why I am affected and somewhere close to being depressed. Part of me worried if the sun is not showing itself any sooner. Will the rain water drown us all?

 

Well, all I want now is to….

Photo credit to Calv.

 

Dance like there's nobody watching,
Love like you'll never be hurt,
Sing like there's nobody listening,
And live like it's heaven on earth - William W. Purkey

 

May us be blessed with all the love and happiness around. Thank you God.

“Everyone Is A Genius, Including The Fish That Tries to Climb A Tree.

“Everyone is a genius. But if you judge a fish by its ability to climb a tree, it will live its whole life believing that it is stupid” – Albert Einstein.

 

During in my childhood, I often think that I am stupid. One of the reasons is because I hardly understood what was taught by the teachers in all subjects except Art, Music and Science. Often, I received low grades and as a result, I was streamed into back classes which were known as the C, D, E, F, G or H class.

 

There were 10 classes all together and I am glad that I was located somewhere between the 3^rd – 5^th class. Well, I was the only one who is grateful with my academic performance back then because, often academic results were being compared with my other relatives whom at similar age.

 

It was not a good experience to share because after each conversation that involved academic achievement, I will end up feeling stupid, sad and disappointed with myself. Sometimes, I will even feel hopeless with myself because I know I have been trying very hard yet, the result was not promising enough to reach the community’s expectation, especially my parents’.

 

I remembered those days when I became very desperate to succeed and asked my parents to send me to tuition classes, just like my other ‘bright’ friends. I observed and interviewed their success stories with the hope that the same story can apply on me. I hate to be left behind because that kind of feeling is really torturing and unbearable.

 

I know I wasn’t as bright as my friends, but I also know that I am not stupid because I could actually understood the content of any subject taught by my teachers. However, I had an extremely hard time to express my understanding into words during exam. This frustrated me the most.

 

I still remember how I excelled in creating the best mind-map in Kajian Tempatan subject. I still remember my ‘Mini Botanic’ project (herbs and mini plants are planted in a used plastic bottle) won the first place during school’s Science week.

 

I still remember my team members and I won the best English scrapbook because of the creative content. I still remember, my artwork was selected in a local magazine competition and won a consolation prize with my school name on the magazine page. My name was being called by the teacher in duty during school assembly to receive the rewards and being complimented for making the school proud. I still remember the name of the magazine – Tunas Sains and Rakan Sains!

 

Despite of my other achievement, I still feel that I was not bright enough to belong in the ‘smart group’ because according to the school’s test score, I was just an average person. I guess, God heard my desperation and grant me a chance to excel in studies. The year following that, I was sent to Penang to continue my standard 6.

 

My lifestyle had changed and I received more attention and opportunity at school because the number of student throughout standard 6 was only 32. Besides, I had learnt study skills from various resources such as books, role models, teachers, friends and etc. Here is my turning point where everything changed from worse to good, good to better.

 

I began to excel in examination from UPSR, PMR, SPM to STPM. Although the result was not as impressive as other top scholars, still I am thankful and grateful with what I have today because seriously, it’s not easy. For someone who is a visual and audio learner, it is challenging to express ourselves through the typical school test and examination.

 

The only way to succeed is through memorization, repetition and constant practices. These are my secret to succeed which then, granted me a chance to enter University of Malaya for Bachelor of Counseling. Since then, I am happy to call myself a passionate life-long learner because finally, I have understood the meaning and joy of learning after being a typical student for more than 20 years.

 

I do not have to memorize anymore because I have found a way to understand and connecting facts.

I do not have to bore myself to death repeating the standard answer given by people from other century (sounds like alien here uh?)

I do not have to force myself to be what I am not to please people who do not understand the principal of ‘no one size fits all’ pedagogy – just like what Albert Einstein says:

 

 

“Everyone is a genius. But if you judge a fish by its ability to climb a tree, it will live its whole life believing that it is stupid” – Albert Einstein.

 

 

Well, I lie. I am still doing it right now (though in minimal quantity). If you have been reading this whole post till here, you should know that this is actually a quarter of my assignment on Assessment and Technology Pedagogy Integration course with UUM. I could do what I like (which is to draw my thoughts and make them into video clip with special sound effect!). I am doing my assignment and that is why I have not updated my blog for few days. Well, I am applying the 4th Habit from Stephen Covey – First Thing First. Assignment is more important than blogging because it will take 25% of my coursework.

 

So, is it true that everyone is a genius?
If a fish is being forced to climb a tree or there is no possibility for survival, will it at least try? If it succeeds, will the same cycle happen to other fishes? 

 

I am the fish.

Dream Big As We Only Live Once

The theme of this post itself has already inspired me to Do More Than Dream.

Yes. The moment when I visualize and plan for the topic I want to include in each alphabet (I am still thinking about X-Y-Z as they seem to be the hardest!), instantly I could think of the theme for D.

I want to blog not just about my dream, but about my friends, my blog readers’ and my students’ dreams, and I made it! *cheerfully typing out more words on keyboard*. However, due to time issue, I will just focus in my students’ dreams.

Here is a story about what happened yesterday in the classroom:

Yesterday, I had a class with 1SP3 and was very mad with them for not finishing homework although second chance has been given. Hence, consequence was given by asking them to stand till they complete their homework. While discussing homework, some of them still showed misbehavior in the classroom which we agreed that it is an act of disrespect to the teacher and classmates, and not giving their best. Hence, action was immediately implemented where some of them had to stay back till they complete their work.

Seriously, I was real unhappy. I am thinking to myself, is this what I signed up for as a Teach For Malaysia fellow. Am I going to waste my 2 years for fellowship and receive such work from them? Will they grow and become a respected person in future that can contribute to the society? The answer is no.

 

I drove home completely exhausted after staying back for 15 minutes. Teaching is not an easy job and I realize this since last year however, I keep my faith that this 2 years of journey is going to be worth it in term of helping other individuals to grow and be a better leader for themselves. Well, I know I grow so much too in these several months.

 

I go back home feeling so restless till this morning, I decided to make a short blog about the ‘Dreams’. As I am looking at all the pictures which I had taken yesterday, a sense of happiness is formed and inspire to live my new day ambitiously.

 

Here are the photos that I meant. They were told about the Blogging A-Z Challenge and I asked if they are interested to participate because I want to feature them in my blog with the dreams they have. Most of them have low mastery in English (even numeracy too) but they told me that they want to try to write it in English. I am so touched by their effort seriously. I don’t even have the courage to try when I was at their age T.T

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

I lam touched by his dream: He dreams that one day, he can confidently use English as a form of communication and enter UKM (one of the university in Malaysia).

    

 

Looking at their dreams, they have made me understand what they want and value most in their life. I am grateful to read that some of their dreams are about taking care of their parents, bringing them for holiday and live a happy family. This is something that I am looking forward too besides just a merely career ambition. They took quite long moment to think, write and decorate their paper because Ms. Kai Lee (me) told them that what they wrote will come true so they have to be really careful and serious with their dreams. Well, according to psychology, it is true. What you think will result in action.

Are their dreams big enough to be considered as Dream Big? Well, I think they are plus.. they are all beautiful dreams.. <3

What about mine?
They are seriously a lot! - to have a happy and loving marriage, have kids, write educational books, go Japan and Paris…… and they go on and on and on…


And now, as a teacher for over 400+ students, I dream that in 10-20 years time, I will see all of them living their dreams.

C Is The Most Interesting Alphabet!

Isn’t it obvious that C = Creative?
Well, I have so much to share in this post!

Unexpectedly, my ‘C’ post take longer than I planned because I have so many ideas in my head but I don’t know where to begin with.

Please forgive an ENFP person where she often has an abstract mind and thinking can happen quickly and wildly. Connections between items, people, or situation can be made funnily whether they are in the same category or completely different.

That’s how she gains inspiration and often evolve into creative idea out of nowhere (sometimes it can happen in the car while driving, while walking under the rain, watching tv, eating sushi, seeing Beta fishes dancing their tails, listening to dad’s infamous vocal, or… in the toilet..) however, her biggest weakness is to focus in one thought. Seriously, it is hard.

Even when I am writing right now, I will look at my facebook and observe if I get a new like, wondering what is Calvin doing, recalling the memories on proposal,  thinking if my today’s lesson is good enough, what to write in my assignment and is my hair long enough? #narcicism #complicatedbrain.

If you could have a micro size of body and been placed into my brain, I bet you wouldn’t wanna stay there as it’s super messy and disorganized but one thing for sure is that you will gain a colourful and artistic habitat *what?*

 

Well, I do have some data that I could share about the messiness and complication of the brain. I mean my brain!

The data begins with my Form 6 (pre-U) biology notes that I took in 1 year + 

My lovely notes –
I don’t even remember why I choose the word ‘lovely’.
Anyway, I am glad that I still keep my 2006 notes!

The heart structure

Plants Hormone

The liver

  Embroyology (Baby!)

 

My current notes since 2012 till now.

   Investment, Culture and Management course

Creativity In Teaching.

 

Note: Sorry for the low quality of photo. I am using phone which is the easiest and quickest way to upload.

Probably, this is what they refer to as ‘creativity’ in a nice and super fabulous term which can be a good excuse to continue the ‘messiness’. Anyway, I love to be referred as a creative person rather than nothing because the word creative itself gives me a sense of freedom and flexibility. That’s why I love the alphabet of C!

Yay!

 

Besides C = Creativity,
Also C = Calv or Calvin.

 

I know, I know… I owe you guys my Part 3 Love Story. I am feeling super duperly sorry for procrastinating my post. Well, only if you still remember the Part 1 and Part 2 la. Or else, you can always read them now or later. I am not giving any excuse this time and I am promising you that the Part 3 love story will be in my among my A-Z post. So, yes.

The alphabet of ‘C’ besides being part of my value and personality, C also becomes one of the important person in my life. I have introduced him before during in the year of 2011 when we started dating with the blogpost title: Calvin Seet. Now, he is my fiance *whoot*.

 

Each day, I am thankful and grateful to God for showing him into my life. Life has become even more colourful with his presence. His care and love have given me a reason to look forward for what life has for me. Thank you Calv for your love, care, patience and wisdom. You’re an amazing person and I love you. That’s why I fall in love with the alphabet of C!

 

Besides C = Calv
Also C = Compassion

 

I am a person who is emotionally sensitive and can tear pretty easily when I see the suffering of others – if I allow myself to dive in to their experiences of thought and emotion.  I am not a crybaby since small because I was trained not to cry no matter in whatever situation. Hence, when I grow up, I have difficulty in expressing myself with tears until I met these amazing lecturer in University of Malaya and understand the power of tears. So, I open up and let me be myself.

 

School in a welfare in India.

Through strong compassion, I find another strength in me where I can understand and connect to others more deeply. This has increased my openness to learn in whatever trigger my interest most. Probably that is why I am interested in Counseling, and now teaching as it can help me to help them from the suffering. That’s why I admire the alphabet of C!

 

Besides C = Compassion
Also C = Chinese.

 

I am a Malaysian Chinese. I love my race. I love the culture. I love my identity. I love my Chinese-look eyes (finally). I love my black hair. Do I have to explain why I am proud with the alphabet of C?

 

Besides C = Chinese
Also C = Celine Dion
That’s why I admire the alphabet of C!

 

Besides C = Celine Dion
Also C = Conan (Anime: Detective Conan)
That’s why I am crazy over the alphabet of C!

 

Besides C = Canon
Also C = Champion.
Malaysian can be pretty ‘kiasu’. We like to strive for excellence. Hence, champion is what we love to hear. That’s why I chase over the alphabet of ‘C’!

Besides C = Champion
Also C = Chin Hui, Cheang May May
They are my close buddies. That’s why I am always happy with the alphabet of ‘C’!

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and the list go on…..

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but one equation that me, you and us shouldn’t forget is…

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C = CurryEgg
That’s why I ‘C’ is the most interesting alphabet among A-Z

 

 

Don’t you agree? ;)

 

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I am participating the Blogging A-Z April Challenge where everyday, I will write a blog post that begin with certain alphabet according to the date. So today, it’s C. Tomorrow will be D. Stay tune!

A – A Promise
B – Bachelor Of Counseling And Me
C – Current Post

Bachelor Of Counseling And I

It has already been 1.5 year since the day I graduated from the Bachelor Of Counseling in University of Malaya and I am very proud to make a shout out that, I love this course and I’ve never regretted in taking it up!

 

Adibah, Rani and I

This 4 years of Bachelor program has won me several things and I am so going to share it right now, taking the chance to answer my B post today! (check out the A-Z April Challenge). However, before I share the following stories, I would like to explain that this course is done locally with majoring in Counseling and minor in Psychology. In normal institute, the Counseling course can only be taken after the completion of degree in Psychology (for 3 years). In University of Malaya, we can take the course in degree straight away but has a 1 year extension, meaning it is a 4 years course.

 

There is one important gain that I have received from this course and it is the knowledge through the subject of Psychology. It is not just a subject but more of a life studies to me where I learn about human’s thoughts, behavior and characteristic. To understand why human act or behave in a certain way, we can understand them through these 3 main areas – Affect, Behavior and Cognitive. Of course, if you are interested, you can always Google them or follow any Psychology website in your mobile phone. Well, how does this benefit me? Seriously, it is immeasurable. The knowledge is timeless and transferrable into any field or even any life situation! Thanks to the great work from those respected Psychologists such as Jean Piaget, Ivan Pavlov, Skinner, Albert Bandura, Abraham Maslow, Gardner Murphy and etc.

 

Same goes to the Counseling skills that I have learned where I can apply them into my relationship with others including my parents, family, partner, friends, colleagues and even strangers. To me, Counseling is more of a communication skills where you can emphasize others feeling, understand where they come from and then seek the best way to communicate the idea according to different age group. Seriously, this whole idea about Psychology and Counseling is really interesting and I could feel my eyes widen and smile is curved while typing this out. However, having these counseling skills and knowledge don’t make me a better person or communicator, but having a better awareness about myself and others. I am still learning along the way, but in a harder way because knowing the knowledge always pushes me to be more sensitive and structural when it comes to communication with others which can be tired at times.

 

 

Still, I love what I have learned from this course.

 

Besides knowledge and skills, I would say that this course has taught me to see and value life from different perspective. It teaches me important values such as gratitude, responsible, be humble, creativity, be assertive, be understanding and many more. Probably it is because of the design of the course, or probably it is because of my lecturer where good values are instilled into the students’ personal growth not just to become an accountable counselor but as a human being. Humanity is what often being emphasized in each lesson. I am grateful that I could see strengths and uniqueness in everyone whom I have come across to and gain insights and wisdoms along the way. Being a teacher for over 400 kids, I could greatly exercise what I’ve learned to each of them. This is the beauty of my course.

 

My first visit to New Delhi, India on last February 2013.

 
Note: What is in your mind when you see these 2 pictures? Is your country’s demographic any closer to this? If yes, how do you view your life? If no, how do you view their life?

I think I have left this important point that I learn about myself more than before. That’s how I could come up with a long write up about myself few years back (read here). I have these 3 great lecturers whom appreciate uniqueness and encourage the search of trueself. They have never failed to spend their time and energy in helping each of us to grow as an individual and appreciate who we are and where we come from. I still remember that each day, I was looking forward to attend their classes and felt the joy of being nurtured with care and love. Their names shall always be remembered – Dr. Diana, Dr. Nicole and Dr. Haslee. Thank you for your great lesson and making a difference in my life. May the joy and love I have gained impact others’ lives too.

 

Well, when it comes to love and joy, I shall never forget my Counseling buddies. Throughout these 4 years of course, I gained true friendship. We had been through ups and downs together, and still being so close to each other probably it’s because we have understood each other so well through various Counseling activities and humanistic lessons.  Help, open communication and sharing were easily done among many of us. There is almost no secret among ourselves, just like a family. Of course, we did have conflict but it doesn’t make us apart.

 

 

 

From these 48 coursemates, there are 6 special people whom I have learned and loved so much. We even named ourselves as ‘The Birdies’. We know each other background stories, we share love stories, we share idea, we share dreams, we share bed (yay!), we share cosmetic items, we share the car, we share birthday present (and wedding present too!) and we share future together. Ahhhwww.. thinking of these have made myself feel warm and happy. If there is one thing I am forced to trade off, I know I will never ever, ever, ever trade this friendship because they are my greatest support system. Ahhww…

 

  Nearly 2 years of being apart but friendship remains strong.
(Couldn’t find the 6 birdies picture at the moment)

 

And now, with my Bachelor Of Counseling academic background, I gained my first job as a fellow in Teach For Malaysia (TFM). Just as a quick sharing, Teach For Malaysia is a movement to address and fight for education inequity in the country. We share the same mission that ‘one day, all students in Malaysia will have the opportunity to attain an excellent education’. To my loyal readers (let me know if you’re still here as I know I haven’t blogged for many many months), you might have not heard much about my stories in joining TFM. It seems like there are a few pieces of lost puzzle. Well, don’t worry. I know I will get you there, soon.. :)

My very first group of Form 4 students in SMK Ampang Pecah.

 

Thank you to all my lecturers, course designers and my awesome coursemates. You have made my life journey more meaningful and successful. Thank you and I love you.

 

P/S: I feel like furthering my Master in Counseling after this. Let see.

 

Related post on Blogging A-Z April Challenge:
A – A Promise.
B – Bachelor Of Counseling (Current)
C – C Is The Most Interesting Alphabet!