23 January 2015

Dare To Dream

Today,

when I was observing one of my teammates teaching in the classroom, I received a sad news. A boy, whom I met and talked to during in my motivational speech in a new school last Friday was dead. He met with an accident and passed away in the morning.


I was stunned when I read the news.
I couldn’t believe that, the Form 5 boy whom I met just few days ago has left. Although I just met him for an hour, he and his gang have left a strong impression on me.



Photo credit: Nuruddin.

Surprisingly, I had been thinking this bunch of boys since the past 2 days. The 3 of them were the ‘talking group’ during my 1 hour sharing session, which lead me to facilitate them more during activity so that I could understand the reason why they talked. I found out that 1 boy was struggling to put thoughts into words, hence his friends helped him by translating from Tamil into Malay words that lead to constant laughter.


Photo credit: Angie & Kit Yen



I managed to read this boy’s Life Map and found out that he wanted to get married in 5 years time and secure a good job so that he can take care of his wife in 10 years time. I still remembered, how supportive I am towards his intention to take responsibility of his future and partner, and even prompt them further on how he could secure a job of his choice and support his family. I couldn’t remember the exact phrase but I have vivid picture of him saying that he wants to further studies, secure a job and go travel in future. Then we laughed together before I left for another group facilitation.


P/s: I used to think if a person set him/herself a marriage plan at a very young age (24-25), he/she is not ambitious enough. However, being married, I must say my perspective has changed.







Above: One of the students’ life map


After the news, I did not have a proper time to digest the information until I was done with school visit and caught in a heavy jam. The night, rain and quiet car had naturally created a space for me to reflect on life.


”How fragile it can be.”
”The ability to raise in every morning is an opportunity to learn life another day”
”Today might be your last day of seeing this person”
”Every person you met is a ‘yuen fern’”
”Life is short”
”Do things that you will not regret of”


P/p/s: am just blasting my thoughts in random sequence.


Then, it lead me to think of today’s team’s fun question lead by Angie on “If you are famous, how will it looks like” and I excitedly shared my answer (because, I occasionally thought of this too since years ago #buapaisheh). I confidently shared that I want to write a book that inspire people. I want to write based on my experiences. I want to write about personal development related topic. I want to be famous because of the legacy I left before the end of a journey.


Well, at the end of my sharing, I was laughing and told my group that partially, they were jokes. However, at this point of time, thinking of the boy whom I just shared, I know that I want my words to come true (at least half). I want to continue touching lives and help people, including myself to gain self awareness, grow and reach our ultimate potential. Suddenly, I feel that to be able to do things we like and satisfied with personal achievement are seriously a privilege.



The only thing that hinder me from achieving these are my inaction. I dreamed, I planned but I did not take action.


I don’t know how I could stand the heat (didn’t switch on the fan) and stayed awake till midnight, oh well.. I am glad that I am writing something.


Note: I am grateful for the opportunity given although it was a last minute call (like 15 hours before). There were 112 students and it was successfully conducted by me with the support from Angie. Listening from 2 girls who were brave enough to accept my request by going to the front of the stage and read their 5 and 10 years go to the crowds. 1 of the girl would like to pursue her dream to be a fashion design in overseas and would want to come back to her Orang Asli community to design clothes for them (also to her teacher, Kit Yen). Another girl shared that she wants to be rich by owning luxurious cars (with specific name slike Ferrari, Lamborghini & etc) and give good life to her family. Hearing from them caused goose bumps all around my hands.



Colourful envelopes that contain students’ life map and dreams.
I am a dream collector


By the way, here was the closure activity (known as exit ticket) where students will have to write their hopes and possible action taken on their Life Map. Next, they will insert their paper into the colourful envelope with name, class and ambition written boldly on it. Then, they passed their past-presence-future to me. The plan is that, they will collect them again at the end of the year to reflect back what they have written and take necessarily action to achieve their dreams.


Dream will always be a dream when you think and do nothing bout it. Writing down the dream will be the first step in turn it into reality.



Side note: This blog post is actually written on 19th January 2015 but could only be published today due to some issue with Blogger. Anyway, here I am, trying my best to post this up before end of the week.

05 June 2014

The Awaiting Enlightment In Siem Reap

 

About 10 days ago, I had decided to purchase flight tickets to Siem Reap, Cambodia where my friends are planning for another round of back packing experiences. It was a sudden plan when my inner self is craving for a new adventure for self-exploration and learning in a different environment, while also to accomplish my early age dream to visit Angkor Watt #oneday.

 

I am glad to made this decision as I enjoy myself in this mysterious town with a bunch of wonderful companies. I had never known that I am capable of riding on the motorbike all by myself from the airport till the backpacker homestay. It was a 20 minutes journey where we both with a hand luggage secured by his legs passing by hectares of quiet lands.

 

I did not know that I could make friend easily with other backpackers from Taiwan, Japan, Spain, China and Korea where we met in different places either in the homestay, temples, night market or restaurant.

 

I did not know that I could journal my experiences almost instantly through notebook, photos, instagram, facebook and blog. I thought, I will leave a peaceful life without technology and internet at least a week.

 

I did not know that I could be empathetic and having high sense of curiosity over the life of the local people in Cambodia. I have heard a lot of stories about life of local people in Cambodia and now, having my personal experiences has formed a richer and clearer pictures.

 

I can even connect with myself better when I am stepping into each area in Siem Reap – not just in the Angkor Watt Heritage Centre but the housing area as well.

 

And, I find peace and enlighten in Angkor Watt and I really appreciate my experiences so far. Everyday, is like a new chapter awaiting me to explore and discover more so that I can complete and collect the very chapter at the end of the day.

 

siem reap 4

 

May these peacefulness and mindfulness in me stay longer…….

27 May 2014

How Love Changes A Person - Me


Calv and I had just ended our conversation through Facebook call before I decided to make a quick blog post over something that comes very spontaneous to me.


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Photo taken at one of our favorite islands in Thailand.


Well, it is not that spontaneous after all when I have been thinking about this person for such a great, long time. The image, the voice, the warmth, the fun, the happiness and the joy that this person brings me since day one is unbelievably addictive.


Although we are in a distance relationship (and now marriage), my emotions and thoughts seemed to evolve around him. You might be surprised of why I become so sentimental in this post. I shall not question and I shall not hide my feelings for what I have been greatly affected by all his loves, cares, supports and efforts all these while.

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I feel safe and secure for I know that I will be guided and supported.


I notice that I have learned and grown so much ever since I know this person. This thought begins from a conversation that I had with my manager in this very afternoon. I have discovered that I am more organized and practical to my work. Besides that, I can be straight and directive in my conversation with good intention behind. Despite of the few values that I discovered, I also realized that I am more confident and being more acceptance of who I am before and now.


IMG_1442The gift.


Reasons for my growth and development are believed to be built through my inner strengths openness to learn from experiences, high achieving working environment, people around me and of course, from the loves that I have been blessed… *thank you* 


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The unexpected joyous moment.


Life is full of unpredictable challenges and I do have my down moments. My bed is not always full with beautiful and scented flowers. However, I am braver in facing upcoming challenges. I am happier in awaiting for tomorrows. I am hopeful to achieve shared and personal dreams.


Eh eh…. why I can see clouds and hear birds chirping around me? *dream*


Today, I even made a silly promise to my manager to keep me accountable with one action item. I do not plan to share it here yet, but this promise is made out of 2 reasons:


1) To achieve the dream that I have always wanted to accomplish
2) For love.

I even asked her to give me consequence (which I suggested).
If I don’t do X, I will buy magnum ice-cream for all the ‘failure’ I make throughout the year. Seem challenging uh? Oh well…. ‘Golden mouth has just spoken out’.. The promise must go on~


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Thank God for all the guidance and loves that you have shown me. Please, continue to guide and bless me with the ability to love, patience, wisdom and joy so that I can share with my loved one, my husband.

Good night <3


P/s: To you who are still waiting for your right one, I pray and hope that you will find him/her soon and receive the loves and joys that you wish for <3

15 May 2014

When June Leaves May

 

I mean,

when June (my friend’s name) leaves the organization on May – which is last Friday, it creates a space for me to think and reflect on everything that is happening in and around me. One of the reasons is because, I miss the bubbly and positive energy spread by her since the last 2 months. Although I rarely be in the office, I love and appreciate her aura.


And… today, we met for the very first time after the end of her internship with TFM. We were helping out at PWTC at the Teach For Malaysia booth for Teacher’s Day event. We hang out for dinner after the event and had a meaningful sharing on what we had learnt and accomplished in this first half of the year.


The 2 hours of conversation was deep and filled with gratitude for all the things that we had been through and learnt. We even clapped and cheered happily for each other’s little successes. Like what Calv commented in one of my latest FB photo, “Best friends u had ... Appreciate them well .....”. Indeed, she is one of the very pure souls that I treasure in my life.


Another best part that I love the most was when we brought out Psychology Theory and Counselling techniques onto the table and drew the connections with our current experiences. To our amazement, the philosophy and practice of the skills just come naturally to us despite of the non-counseling job that we are (were) currently doing.


From the conversation, I notice that I really love my job and happy working with my current role as a LDO (Leadership Development Officer) in Teach For Malaysia for 11 wonderful souls in 4 different schools. Besides, I also like the fact that I can work almost as closely as with my teammates’ students whenever I visit the school. This is the perfect platform for me to learn and grow using the knowledge, experiences and skills that I have to shape me to be a better individual.


This is just a simple post that I would want to record my thoughts and feelings after my personal reflection.


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Taken in LRT before the ‘goodbye’. Her smile is contagious!


If you are reading this (and I believe you will *insert self-confident), thank you dear Juney for all the love, thoughts and kind help.

I do not have siblings but I am thankful to have closed, meaningful friendships around me.

Before ending this post, there are 2 thoughts in my mind:

When you are facing challenges, what will you normally do?
Was the action that you do help you to grow or hinder you from progressing?

13 May 2014

Inner Voice Speaks

As the age grow older, I find myself not fancy attention from the public as much as I used to be. Well, I have to admit that I still like attention but only from people who are closed to me. I guess, this is called aging….

Aging…….

It is an enlightening Tuesday, and I have the urge to blog today – just to let my mind to be at ease with the environment which I am currently sitting with good companies next to me.

I visited the temple this morning for prayer. My heart was dancing in joy as I woke up this morning and I was delighted for the whole day. Today is Wesak Day and I gained peace and enlightenment during in the temple. It has been quite some times since I stepped into the temple with a feather-light heart.

No images of work. No pressure. Just an empty soul.


wesak2

 

Childhood memories were unexpectedly recalled when I was pouring the flower water onto the little Buddha body. The excitement upon receiving the yellow blessing string came naturally to me because when I was a little girl, I used to think that God will give me special protection from the evil and save me from any danger. I even had the thought that if I pray sincerely to God without any intention for return, I am a good girl and people around me will love me more. I guess, I haven’t reached 12 that time?


P/s: I still have such feeling and knowing that God’s power is beyond measure and I am always been guided and protected.


I was holding my palms together and closed my eyes in a meditative manner. I secretly send telepathy to my own brain, “Eggie, you have grown up! Look at you. You are 158cm tall now (not 80cm) with a husband, a family and a career. You are a woman!”.


It felt so good to remain silent for at least 45 minutes and being prayerful. I am certainly amazed by how far I have travelled till today. I know that I wouldn’t be able to be who I am today, and be where I am today without the blessing, guidance and loves from God and people around me. I know that I wouldn’t be able to grow as fast as I could without disappointment, struggles and challenges from people and environments.



Issue is indeed a constant lesson.
Experiences are indeed the best teacher.
People are indeed the best reflection of self.
Life is indeed unexplainable miracle.



While the chanting continued by the monks, images of important people flashed in my mind. Secretly, I reflected over the good deeds done by each of them and ended each image with gratitude and best wishes for them. I didn’t know how and why I did that but it just happened naturally – like I am at the end of my life and I am leaving my last words.


I love how it feels at the end of the prayer. It reminds me of how I used to feel when I was still a child being very curious and innocent with everything and everyone around me. It feels almost like a reborn of spirit and hopes for the future. Or, like a reformatted computer?


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I spent a good afternoon with new companies today at a very interesting cafe (which I am sitting currently) and they are Sue, Lexie and Jane. The coffee aroma and warm ambiance inspired me to open up my laptop and blog again. I love this feeling and I am thankful for the simplicity of happiness gained today.

 

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Trying out the frame in the shop that sells at the price of RM99….. emm…

 

Ohh… before ending this post, one #selfie from the 4 of us or it seems incomplete for the year 2014 trends.

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Happy Wesak day to all my Buddhist friends.
Happy weekdays for all my readers. You are being missed Red heart

 

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