Hi dear all.
How are you lately? It is already Thursday.
I believe most of you love the idea where Friday is soon to be approaching? Well, I don’t because it means that my holiday is going to end very soon. The enjoyment taste by the students are almost equal to the teachers – just not as relaxing as they are because we still work at home such as marking and grading papers, make lesson plans and etc.
Another sad thing to say is that my next coming holiday will be on the 3rd week of December – 1 month for training and 2 weeks of holiday before school reopen again. But normally school will take up 1 week for school meeting. So, I only have roughly 1 week before new year…. wuohhhh…. T.T *sneeze on tissue, again.. and again..*
In these 1.5 weeks, I have spent my time properly with people whom I loved as well as myself. I have designed a lot of ‘Me Time’ – though most of the time I was working on assignment and paper grading.
Taken in the car while calv was driving.
During on my ‘Me Time’, I had done a lot of self-talk and self reflection. For example, I made myself run at the park yesterday, alone with my ponytail tied up and sport shoes feet on. It was a therapeutic moment where I calmly connecting with my self without any distraction exclude the ‘sexy’ image portrayed by an uncle in singlet >.<. Along the gasping-for-air moment, I was thinking deeply on what I want to do next.
I know very well that I am actually in a new chapter – no longer a student and no longer a jobless girl. I have a full time job with 2 years of commitment (to be exact, 1.5 years left) as a Teach For Malaysia fellow. Besides, I am also a soon to be 1 year old girlfriend to my partner (omg! i thought we are longer than that!) where future planning is already on discussion.
A lot of incident happens within this 1 year and looking back on what I had been through, I privately whispered to myself, “Girl, it is worth the journey despites of all the stormy and raining days I had crawled over”. Occasionally, I will read this post again and again ‘Experiences Are The Best Teacher’ especially during at my down moment to remind me that there is always light at the end of the tunnel. As long as we don’t give up on what we believe in and keep on fighting, we will achieve what we want in the end of the day.
Probably I have grown up (slightly more), I enjoy simplicity of life. My drama-ness has reduced and my narcissistic trait has been toned down compare to many years ago. I don’t know why. Maybe it is due to my age? Or due to the exposure I received right now? I am more into vintage and non-complicated stuff. Or called it a trend?
Emm.. I don’t know. Maybe I should just embrace this feeling till the day I want to change again.. or not.
As you can see, I have changed my blog layout. I spent nearly 2 hours, trial and error to find the best design I want using the photos I have and html prior knowledge that I still have. Currently, I switched to the blogger free template and include a photo of mine to personalize this site.
I am not worrying if I get a large number of readership anymore compare to years before this because the idea of becoming a celebrity and earning big bucks through online do not attract me. My equation before this is:
High number of visitors = Popular = Received more ads = Earn more $
Haha.. well, it is obviously a wrong equation for me as I am not consistent in my writing and I am not bold enough. I used to worry if I don’t update my blog, my readers will leave and gone forever. As a result, I wrote mostly for others and not for myself which is now to think about it, it is wrong because I didn’t enjoy blogging as much as before. Thus, the long disappearance took place and now, I am back with a clearer mission and vision. I am here to do what I am interested with and not being interesting (Jacqueline Novogratz, 2012). I had already lost my readership and I have nothing else to loss.
What I am more concerned now is, I have lost the interest in journaling due to teacher’s burnout effect! I should continue, especially now when I am in my 2 years journey which once gone, forever gone experiences. I want to blog whatever experiences I gained from now on so that when I have children one day, I can prove to them that mama is a loving lady who love their daddy just the way he is. Even to answer their curiosity about the idea of creativity, dedication and success as a teacher or student. Or one day, when I was old, I could look back what I have been through and peacefully sleep on my deathbed. Well, who knows right?
Well, enough of mumbling. I should go to sleep. I am glad that I am still keeping my expressive side after so many months of quietness. Miss the old eggie ;)