Halloween And I

Today is already Halloween Day and this has reminded me about my first Halloween celebration with Kevin. I keep on saying, how time flies.

 

 

It is like, today we are playing face painting using grandma’s white powder and aunt’s red lipstick, and tomorrow we are in  different countries, sending emails to each other describing our Halloween celebration. How ironic.

 

 

I am a Chinese and I don’t really celebrate Halloween Day. In fact, I ‘celebrate’ Hungry Ghost Festival. Emm.. It is not that I celebrate but  it is more like a prayer or an offering.

 

 

Last year was seriously my first celebration since Nuffnang & Maxis organized a Halloween Party and I received free 2 tickets from Suresh. Thanks again, how generous of him. Never had I thought of I will attend any Halloween Party, wearing something weird. If you wish to read more about my last year Halloween Party, go here and here.

 

 

The fun thing was, Kevin who has good experience with Halloween Party gave me generous advice on what I should wear during in the party. We attended the party together with our thick make-up and funny customs. Those lipstick spots on my face will never be forgotten.

 

 

What had happened last year is a memory for today. I am glad to have such a sweet memory with both Kevin and Aunt before they leave to US. Gosh, now I miss them. Hope that they are doing great with their new life there..

 

My Halloween Look For This Year:

 

 

So, are you asking about my Halloween this year?  I should be paying my visit to one of the Baskin Robbins Ice cream stalls in KL with Orange custom to get a 30% off ice cream. Sigh… If only if it is not because of my final exam which starts on next week, I will definitely go for it..

 

=_________________________________________=

 

Why there is such thing call exam? It kills creativity and innovative man.. *giving excuses*

 

Emmmm…. I should stay in the locked room with books, books and only books after this. Boring. Waiting Casper to save me out.

 

>.<

Action Research

Seriously, it is funny that how hatred can turn into love. This drastic change has surprised me because I had never expected this will happen. Don’t ask me why. It just happened, as if there is a cupid shooting his invisible love arrow into my heart causing me to fall deeply in love with the person next to me.

 

In fact, it is not a person who I fall in love with but a course namely, Action Research.

 

 

For the past 12 weeks, I showed no interest at all in this subject. One of the reason is because this subject killed most of my brain cells whenever I heard of the words, “Qualitative” and “Quantitative”. Even though I had attended a Research course in my previous semester, I still have no confident in answering any of the terms. I believe I am not interested to be in the research field especially when one has to always deal with systematic procedure and boring statistic.

 

 

It bores me when I am not allow to use my own creativity in the field. Well, I am not a kind of person who love following the rules, especially those old, traditional ones. Wait a minute. Don’t get me wrong. I don’t mean not following rules equal to breaking rules. I am a discipline person OK. It is just that I prefer not to follow the norms IF I am allow to. As long as I am not breaking the law, I know what I will do. This is one of my unique characteristics.. :)

 

 

Being in the class for more than 12 weeks, the love feeling slowly develops. I realize I started to like Action Research bits by bits each day when I am filled with more knowledge and information. From a low self confident girl, I slowly become braver and stronger. I dare to speak up in the class, asking and answering those questions threw by the lecturer. Although most of the time I gave wrong answers (which sometimes being pointed out in a high key voice in front of the class), still I am glad that I had picked up this brave move. It makes me stronger by being less afraid with critics because in the end of the high-pitch class, I will be pampered with soft pats on the shoulders or a warm hug from my friends who are also my group member.

 

 

Well, I do understand why our lecturer got mad when we failed to answer her question or not being able to follow her instruction. I basically know why. She worries we might not be able to do the research properly when deadline is approaching and test is just a stone throw. She also afraid that all her hard work will be in vain when her students still unable to stand on their own feet by observing our performances in class. Her worries are just like a mother’s worries, never stop, never end. I guess they will only send when she sees us scoring A in this subject? Lol..

 

My highest level of love for this course took place on 26th October 2009 when my group, Fabulousta finally made our last presentation in the class. I had sleepless nights, days before the BIG DAY in which I tried to improve the slides, points and ways in presenting it. I was really committed in making this final presentation a success because I don’t want to see my group being criticized badly for not preparing well. And I don’t want us to be screamed for putting wrong information nor wrong method in the end of the presentation.

 

 

Those negative critics in our first presentation have really awaken me.  Stretches and wounds in heart have really taught me to stand up and fight. Emm… not that I will fight with my lecturer, but to fight with myself. I keep telling myself that this time, our group can do something remarkable, something extra-ordinary where we can create a big ‘WOW’ in our lecturer’s heart. Besides, I am pretty confident that our research topic is something worth to be shared, something which will teach us to appreciate ourselves even more. I may write about our research topic in another post.

 

Unwind myself with the Fabulousta members right after the presentation.

       

Indeed, our direction is right. We have performed pretty well and have surprisingly impressed her. There were no critics nor scolding this time, instead only praises and compliments in return. I was almost ‘shocked to death’ when she announced a free lunch for our group members at a royal club. Oh dear.. never had I thought of this part. I mean, I had never thought of our group will be selected as the best group among the 14th group nor a free meal with her because all I was hoping for is to make a good presentation, delivering whatever hard work we have made in the past 1 month. We have been working so hard for this assignment, ever since the beginning of the October and all we hope is to to the quantitative research correctly.

 

 

 

 

I am glad that our hard work is paid with this fabulous trip to a club sponsored by our lecturer. It was like a Mary-Go-Round dream because I had never been to any makan trip with my fabulous coursemates and the lecturer. Emm..  what about the Mary-Go-Round dream? Well… whatever.

 

 

Although it was a bit weird sitting and eating side by side in a Chinese Restaurant which located in the club with our lecturer, still it was a great day for all of us. We had a good, long chat with the lecturer and new friends from other course (TESL).

 

 

Before going back to our own ‘cabins’, forcing to switch on the exam mode again, we had a wonderful time cam-whoring with each other around the club. Well, it is something which I will normally do, isn’t it?

 

 

 

I just couldn’t stop myself from capturing as much pictures as possible during in this sweet moment because I know, in the end of the day, I will be stress again with this Action Research course. There are still 1 XXXL assignment and 1 final paper which I have to face and work on before the real victory celebration.

 

 

So, I guess you know what am I up to if you can’t see any update in this blog. Right?

Id, Ego, Superego In Me.

I can sense a very strong impatient feeling here. Yes. Here.

 

Cool down everyone. I know I am a bit late in revealing the answer. Well, blame my tight schedule which has been conquering most of my time ever since the beginning of the month. Final exam is just a stone throw and I have to reduce my online time for assignment, presentation and exam. That’s the basic routine a student will do right?

 

Anyway, I am here to reveal the long-await-answer.  Before that, I would like to express my feeling towards the guesses which some of you had made in my previous post. Seriously, I am really amazed reading your answer because majority of you are guessing the right artwork. Oh dear… I feel like… I feel like… you guys understand me more than I understand myself. What happen?

 

This is my masterpiece.

 

 

A day before the Co-curriculum Day, I was hit buy a gigantic word called ‘stress’. I had no idea on what I wanna paint in that small, square canvas. Seriously, I didn’t like drawing portrait, object nor figure. They are so…… boring. Plus, I am not good in drawing them (need lot of practice). So, it took me half a day to come out with this brilliant idea, which is to create another abstract work.

 

 

I love creating abstract art so much and I just realize there are always the same similarities appear in most of my artworks. The colour like yellow, green and blue will definitely be used and those circular shapes will surely be in the picture. I would say, I have found my own drawing style and that is why I am calling them, the Egg Art.

 

Of course, there are always stories behind my artwork. Every colour and strokes resemble the hidden feelings and messages in me. Again, I am using Sigmund Freud’s idea on his Structure of Personality to express my feelings. To some of you who know Psychoanalytic Theory well, I believe you know the concept of ‘iceberg’ – id, ego and superego, yes? I am using this concept and apply it into my drawing.

 

 

• Id – Yellow (The inner child in me)
• Superego – Green ( The judger)
• Ego – Dark blue ( The CEO)

 

 

I am pretty impressed with my work seriously. Firstly, it was done within a day. Secondly, it is something which I want to express in my work (although it doesn’t turn out exactly like what I had planned earlier). Thirdly, no one seems to understand my art. Muahahaha.. This is seriously what I want.

 

Our Fine Art mini gallery was held in a large hall in my university. Never had I thought of the hall will be crowded with visitors who were mainly the students. One of the experience which I love the most is where I started to talk to my coursemates (fine art). Being in the class for almost 12 weeks, I had never initiated any conversation with new friends (well, got little lar…) because, my mind was always circulated with the same questions:

 

“When can I go back?”

“When can I go back?”

“When can I go back?”

 

Being in a 5.30pm class on every Tuesday was really tiring especially when you have classes starting at 8am. The brain wasn’t as fresh as in the morning, so I shouldn’t be blame for this, right? =P

 

Here are some pictures on the Co-curriculum Day in my university. It was so happening where you could find lot of interesting student’s works, dances and performances. Unfortunately, I failed to capture much photos during in this event because I was hopelessly busy and exhausted… =(

 

 

  

All of us working together in setting up this mini booth. I call this team work.

  Ammar, Kit Yen, Aileen and June came over to our booth to have a glimpse on our artworks. Lol.. thanks a lot my dear friends.. :)

   

 

Other interesting booths and performances.

     

 

Anyway, I still managed to capture a group picture with few of my classmates during in the final class. Sad emotion set in when I realized that it will be our last moment being together. I guess I will not be able to see these ‘little Da Vinccis’ again in future, except in Facebook? Lol…

 

 

So, let’s come back to my ‘Id, Ego, SuperEgo and Me’ artwork.

 

I thought these similarities will not been seen by anyone and I was wrong. My readers can sense them. MY READERS CAN SENSE MY WORK!!!

 

Gosh. Now I am scared because you seem like knowing me better than I know myself. Oh dear.. oh dear..

>.<

Which Canvas Is Mine?

I know I know.

 

I know most of you are waiting for the photos of my canvas, my so call ‘masterpiece’. If you have been following my blog and twitter for quite some times, I believe you will still remember the canvas which I had mentioned before this.

 

If you have missed out a part of story about it, you can read it here. Don’t worry, you are not missing that much yet. But make sure you don’t miss my story again. Lol..

 

Yesterday, the 2 days mini art gallery has just ended and I managed to snap a few pictures on it (although not much). So far, it was a good experience. Yeah. Anyway, I will elaborate my story in details about this art gallery once you play this tricky games of mine.

 

Deal?

 

 

Let’s make a guess on which artwork is mine? Before I point out the masterpiece which I had produced in the pictures, come.. Make a guess. There is no fun if I can’t see wrong answers.

 

Lol..

 

P/s: Of course, ‘those’ who know the answer are disallow to play this games. Let’s keep this as a surprise shall we? =P

 

Follow me in twitter if you don’t wanna miss my everything! Follow: @curryegg

Sad. Upset. Disappointed.

I am not in a good mood now. Sad. Upset. Disappointed.
These are the only adjectives which I can think of right now. Never had I thought of my challenging day will be added up with this issue before the new day takes place. Everything seems like changing its own course without much clues.


Or maybe I am the one who are not sensitive enough?


I have no idea where should I begin my story and I don't feel like starting one. All I wish to do is to dump all my sadness and disappointments into this quite corner. Let's make this a rubbish bin post in which I can just throw in whatever words I DON'T WANT. Let it be grammar mistake, incomplete sentence nor wrong use sage of vocabulary.


I don't mind.


I have a real tough weeks starting by last week and I know it will not end until another couple of weeks. Assignments, tests, project, final exams and some personal issues are monopolizing most of my time. Well, I have expected a challenging life in these few weeks and I thought I will be understood. Well, not to some people because they are not in my shoes. Thus, I don't blame anyone because I know, I can't be in anyone's shoes perfectly.


The feeling of sad and disappointment struck me when I am not been given a chance to show my commitment. No one seems to understand whatever I have planned and done and that is really hurtful. I have tried to disclose myself about my own feeling over the issue to the person but failed. The thing is, I don't feel the fairness in the previous conversation as I was not been given a chance to prove myself and now I was blamed for not doing anything? Not caring? Not loving enough?


I guess it is not the right timing yet to show my commitment (whatever I have planned) and get the person for a private talk. Anyway, let me wash away my emotional by having a good nap. I am too tired to think of any good alternatives.


Let me just doze off. Now.


P/s: Je suis tres triste mais Je serai mieux après cela. N'inquiéter pas.



*Update*


I am waking up rather happy and energetic today. I guess it is my tiredness which affected me to be sensitive. Looking forward for a good week.. :D

Good day everyone!

The Perfectionist Nerd

Whenever the end of semester is around the corner, a great sense of guilt always hits my nerve. There is one part of me wanting to play so much but another part, being chained and forced to start getting serious with studies – like it always happens. In fact, I am serious ever since emmm….. yesterday?

 

Urgggggggghhhhhhhhhhhhh…..

 

I don’t get it. Why I always feel stress in the end of the semester although this time, I have planned my time wisely and should have no problem in time management? (I thought). Somehow, the works are like pilling up so high that it has almost reached Mount Kinabalu. Why oh why?

 

 

I believe I have this perfectionist trait in me in which I will make sure whatever I am doing reach my goal and expectation (at least 70%). Well, before I go any further I have to explain that I am not a real perfectionist in which I don’t give myself too much pressure if I don’t achieve what I hope. The idea of being a perfectionist in myself is mainly because of I don’t want to have any regrets in my life.

 

Questions like:

 

“What if I work harder, will I get B instead of C-?”

“What if I plan my group assignment better, will I have less struggle in the end?”

“What if I study earlier, can I play earlier?”

“What if….?”

“What if….?”

“What if….?”

 

P/s: Have you encountered this problem too?

 

I hate to face this kind of “What if” situation especially when I don’t give honest effort into certain tasks because most of the answer will end up in the negative form which in the end creates guilt in me.

 

 

As I am growing older, I’ve learned that future is always in our hand IF we know how to work on it. Even though it might not appear like what we have planned, at least we have tried to give our very best and learn from our failures. What we can do next is to:

 

improve our strategy and try it again,

improve, try and again,

improve, try and again,

improve, try and again,

improve, try and again, again, again.…….

till we succeed.

 

The bad thing about being a perfectionist is, those easy works will turn out to be the hard one. In another way of saying this is, I tend to give more than what is required which mostly consume much of the time and energy. So, 5 works will double and become 10 (just an example).

 

 

Of course, it sounds easier to write than to do. That is why, I have this biological clock that always controls me, alarming and forcing me to put thoughts into actions. I guess, that is also the reason why I have been sitting on the white marble floor facing the black silky laptop of mine for hours and hours. Happy to say that I have done one part of my assignment. But sad to say that I chat more than I work in these 4 hours.

 

        

 

Darn.

 

Well, it is time to get back to my work. Writing a post regarding to this issue is to remind me to not forget of my Mount Kinabalu assignments. I believe by this Sunday, I can finish them up. Yes! Kah Yau!

 

 

But.. sigh.. it is Deepavali man. I wanna smuggle those muruku and Indian dishes out from my friend’s and neighbour’s houses. Planning a stealing muruku attempt tonight. Anyone interested to be one of the member? We make it a team. Must be fun seeing curryegg stealing curry and egg.

=P

 

 

Oh no!

I haven’t draw anything on my canvas. How am I going to put my art work in the art gallery on next Monday?

 

Shit.

 

 

P/S/S: Those books were free! I got them from the library when free old books were given. And those photos were taken during my stress free moment which I believe will help me in destressing my current situation.. T.T

 

I want to be free. Help.