Recently, I am pretty disturbed with my own mind.
The same list of self-talks conversed among my neuron cells happened ever since the second week of school.
Questions like:
“How could I make my lesson interesting?”
“How to make my students listen, participate and engage in my class?”
“How would I be able to push them in reaching the class goal?”
”How could I teach my students to practice good moral values in class?”
“What kind of long-term, monthly, weekly and daily plan that can help my students to succeed and achieve good result?”
“Would I be able to finish all the syllabus before each formative and final test at school when there are so many activities and school holiday take place?"
“Could I be able to walk the talk?”
Each time when I think of these, I found myself having headache, difficulty in breathing and heavy heart (just like a large stone pressing my heart). When I come to analyze such symptoms, I know instantly the name of this situation. It is called S.T.R.E.S.S.
Well, it is pretty much a personal stress which I am creating to myself and it is bad, real bad. It disturbs my daily functionality and emotion which causes physical and mental exhaustion. I tried as hard as possible not to affect my relationship with my closed ones. It is worse when seeing myself treating people around me badly when there is nothing wrong with them.
This Chinese New Year 1 week break should be a relaxing break for my body, mind and soul. However, it turned out to be the opposite. Ironically, my stress level rose up even higher now when I realized I have not done anything yet for my school tomorrow and the week. The journey spent on traveling and running family errands and attending family occasion took up most of my time.
I didn’t know what to do now and I have already shut down myself to not do anything. I need something therapeutic and relaxing at least for this moment. I realize I can’t work and inspire others when I am tired and exhausted. This is what has been emphasized in Teaching As Leadership Comprehensive Rubric – to work relentlessly. It is important to know how to take care of the self (as a teacher) to maximize teaching results in classes. I will put W-1, W-2 and W-3 closely in mind.
As for now, I will just shut down myself and sleep. Cheers for a better tomorrow. Good night.
P/s: Someone please tell me that feeling stress in the teaching profession is normal.