I know it is not normal to have such feeling. Well, I can’t help but feeling rather helpless and jealous towards bloggers who are actively blogging, and I can’t =(
I don’t know is it because of my job that keep me from blogging or because I am just not in the mood?
Ever since I joined Teach For Malaysia, time allocated for blogging is getting lesser and lesser each day. I could see that my main priority now is not updating myself with Facebook news, reading twitter religiously or blogging. In fact, they have been replaced with books marking, researching Maths’s teaching ideas, attempting Form 1 Maths questions, keying student’s progress and meditating in the car. Meditating in the car!? Ya, i mean self-reflecting while driving (not sleeping k?). Lol..
My life now is always filled with the stories of students, students and students. Though it has been the new 4th months now, I still find myself not bored thinking and talking about them (and people around me are getting bored of the stories T__T). No matter how awful they had broken me down with their mischievous behaviors and uncaring attitudes, I am still passionate to understand their phenomenology and teach the ways they learn best.
Each day, especially while I was driving, I will reflect on what I have and have not done in my lesson. How did my students responded? What are the successes and failures? How could I improve myself to be a better ‘CEO’ in the class? How could I make my students love and enjoy the subject? How can I unleash individual’s potential in such a limited time and such environment? Etc.. etc.. etc..
I used to be a very occupied person back in the past 2.5 months where I hardly relax, always in tensed condition and wear my teacher’s cap all the time, even after work. I realize it is not healthy and it actually drained me off. As a result, I couldn’t even enjoy my job and weekends, which is really bad.
Probably, this is the reason why I am not blogging lately because whenever I want to blog, my ‘Police Traffic Mode’ will be turned on and it will stop me abruptly from doing non-related-to-teaching-and-coursework' activities. So bad ya? Well, I am not doing my work pun. Bad uh?
When I couldn’t do what I love and seeing other bloggers updating their blogs almost daily make me jealous *pouted*. I want to blog like I used to. Post all those nice nice photos of places, food, people and myself. Write super long stories. Receive comments and etc. Well, I guess telling personal stories about myself in the class and writing small comments in students’ books (and read by other teachers and their own parents) are my new found hobby. They served the purposes (self satisfaction) too, right?
Sob.. please miss me.
T____T
P/s: Oh dear, I’ve spent my 1 and a half hour blogging. I need to sleep now. Kthxbai.
P/s/s: I just realized that most of the photos I posted here are from my civic classes. I have more ‘we’ time in civic classes that can allow me to snap some pictures. In the coming week, I will have no more civic classes due to the changes school timetable. Thinking about this make my heart ache. I will miss them. Would share more about this in the coming post =(