Love Me

For the very first time of the month, I find myself unable to sleep. Well, it was normal to face this situation in the past 2 months when I was struggling with my academic writing. But now, when I have no commitment at all?

 

Ok. Not to say ‘NO commitment’ at all.

 

I probably understand why there are changes in my sleep pattern today. I am nervous with my unfinished slides (stuck somewhere) and the idea of presenting my paper in an International Conference on Wednesday (tomorrow!). I saw a few of my lecturers’ names in the schedule and I will be placed with my respected lecturer, presenting in the same room. Whoa…. that’s the ultimate heart tester. Wait, what am I talking about? I should be proud.

 

I guess, I am worried that my topic is too ‘rare & cold’ that no one actually wanna hear my idea, making the room empty. Or, there might be a big crowds which I might not be able to handle with endless questions from the experts. Can’t help but having these negative thoughts and I just wish to do ‘self-therapy’ here at this hour. Lol… excuses.. =P

 

By the way, it is fun to see dad snoring at the living hall while I am still sitting at a corner, doing some writing here. This has reminded me about this photo which I created for him, specially for father’s day :)

 

My mum is so lucky to be blessed with a considerate, wise, happy-go-lucky and charming boyfriend =D

 

I just simply love my dad (and of course mum too) for whoever he is. I feel blessed to be born in this family. They are wonderful parents who always care and love me no matter how good or bad I had been. They are the people who always accept me – for whoever I am though there are fights and quarrel once in a while. That’s the beauty of relationship I have with my parents *love*.

 

Alright, it’s time to continue my preparation again for the conference.. *amitabha*

 

P/s: Currently listening to Yiruma’s ‘Love Me’ clip. I find myself awe at his masterpiece once again. I can feel the beauty of love when I’m listening to this song. Thx Calv for sharing this :)

Special Moment With The Birdies

Seriously, I am still excited with yesterday event.

 

Although I got headache at the moment while blogging this, I still wish to blog my wonderful moment (while it is still fresh in mind) which took place at Milwaukee Steak House, Seri Kembangan with these 3 lovely ladies last night. It is a celebration for Shu Huan, for her 24th belated birthday celebration.

 

 

By the way, we called ourselves birdies in 6 during back then. How come we come up with this name? Well, you can head over here for more idea. Sadly, another 2 have returned to their countries – Singapore and Brunei. Or else, we will be complete :(

 

I visited my internship place again at Hospital Kajang during in the morning and had a great time with my supervisor, a new intern student (my junior!) and my patient. It is good to be back again, updating about each others, refreshing my counseling skills and share some of my internship experiences with my junior. Also, to say ‘Hi’ to all the staff in the Psychiatry clinic. Oh.. even the guards in the hospital as well. Surprisingly, they still remember me! Ok lah.. i was not away for too long, like 2 months? =D

 

 

Time flies without me realizing it. I met my last patient for termination session before leaving the place. At first, I thought he will miss the appointment as his mother informed that he is not feeling well. However, she changed her mind and made another call to the clinic, informing that she will bring him to the session because he insisted. I was touched by the commitment.

 

What I feel touched even most is when my 12 year old patient purposely brought his digital camera with more than 10 extra batteries to the room. His intention was to snap picture with me… *ahwww*

 

Luckily I am a person who always bring camera around. Close friends of mine know that… =P

 

Somehow or rather, my counseling session was like an art class (but I don’t teach). This is called Art Therapy where you draw and share whatever thoughts that cross your mind at the moment. Children love this activity and you can see the creative side of them.

 

After some thoughts, I think it is better to cover up my patient’s identity.

 

As the clock hit 5.30pm, I left the place and immediately fetched my gorgeous friends at the station. Plans on how to create a memorable birthday celebration for our dearest Shu Huan were discussed along the journey before picking her up at work place. Thanks to SH’s bf for cooperating with us. Ngek ngek….

 

Probably you might not think of this where I asked both my friends to squeeze and hide at the passenger seats, so that Shu Huan will not be able to see them – and thought it is only me who have dinner with her. The whole process was seriously hilarious and I was like a crazy girl who talked and laughed alone while driving. I hallucinate. Lol.

 

A random photo I took when both of them were squatting down at back seats. muahaha.. XD

 

As soon as we reached and got her, I asked, “Shu Huan, I need your help to take some stuff from the back seats. Can you help me?”. She obediently followed (though she was confused) my request and right after she opened the door…

 

*Ta-da!!*

 

She yelled and screamed all the way. Lolx… I did record this in video and will edit it. Probably I can come up with a special clip soon… *evil laugh*

 

Bravo girls. We did it!

 

We ‘intruded’ her rented house which look like castle. The 3 of us started mumbling about Rapunzel, Snow White, Beauty & the Beast, Tumberlina, Mermaid… Mermaid? Lol.. it must be from bathtub. Haha…

 

It took us at least an hour to walk out from the house successfully. Laughter and noises companied us along the way before reaching the steak house which we agreed on. Ok lah, I lied. Actually, our laughter and noises grew greater as soon as we get a place to sank ourselves. Well, 2 ENFP, 1 ENFJ and 1 INFJ are passionate enough in making a new place like home. Or because… We are birdies? =P

 

The taste and presentation of food at Milwaukee Steak House are not bad. Moderate mark I will give. But high rating for the service. One of the staff, name Pearl is especially friendly. I am grateful for everything she has served us ^^

 

 

I think we occupied the place for nearly 2 hours++. If it was not Thursday, I think we might want to spend a longer hours. Seriously, it is not easy to get the 4 of us (not to mention 6) to meet each other ever since the final semester is over. Everyone is looking for job now and will settle down soon.

 

 

No more play but work. Can I have both?

 

Throughout this whole celebration, it is not the ‘birthday reason’ that I care most. The priority is on the quality time we spent, connecting and enjoying each other presences and souls when we are being together. Call me a sentimental person, I don’t mind because I am a person who truly see the beauty in friendship and relationship – especially when I have found true and genuine good friends who I can connect well.

 

      

 

Life is not just about what material things you have (or probably not at all). It is also about how deep connection you can make between yourself and others. Besides, it is about what you have gained in this life. I might sound ‘innocent’ here but this is what I believe in – friendship, connection, love.

 

June had been to Taiwan and Thailand and she bought us presents! At first, I thought it was Christmas and Santa June finds Kelly a good girl. So she has presents! =D

Yay!

 

Bei Shan and Shu Huan have reminded me about a photo which the 3 of us had taken long time ago, during our first year in campus. We went to a prom night for our 3rd college event. We look like this 3 years+ before.

 

Click here to the past

Current.

 

Wow.. We did change and it is our hairstyle which are very obvious. Guess we have grown up? Lol… Btw, I think I shall keep my hair long after this.

 

So yes, I love my birdies friends. Thank you for always being supportive, caring and loving. By the way, I am happy that I have presents too though my birthday is still 2 months away *hint*

 

 

Wish you a Merry Christmas. Gosh, I mean Happy Belated Birthday Mommy Bird~

=D

It Feels Good To Know What I Want

It feels good when I am clear with what I want. Probably just an item, a person, a career or a goal in life. It doesn’t matter. They are interconnected because what I am trying to highlight here is the phrase, “I know what I want”.

 

It creates a satisfactory feeling when confusion and dilemma have been tackled with a clear answer in mind. I feel in charge again with not much cognitive and emotional burdens that prolong the pain of losing the self.

 

Haha.. It sounds kinda deep here but it actually makes sense to me though I am only relating to my choices in picking a DSLR for myself. Not easy you know? Small issue but the process of decision making is what I care most.

 

Thus, I am happy to say that I’ve known what I want for my future DSLR baby after long consideration. Though the possibilities in getting one is still kinda low, still I will try. Once you have the direction, it is easier to move on and work on the plans.

 

Thank to Jien Hau for the  sharing and teaching. Let’s hope I can be a DSLR kaki soon. Weeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee~~

 

So yes! A Canon EOS 60D. If you have any suggestions, comments or supports towards the idea, do leave me a message. I will be happy to hear. Have a good day =)

My Academic Research On Blogging As Self Therapy

Normally, I don’t really reveal my name in my own blog or other Social Network Sites (SNS) especially like Twitter and Facebook because to me, my real name is private. Or maybe I think Kelly Tan is pretty enough to describe me. Yes?

 

However, it is a bit different today. I reveal my long name here for the very first time (I suppose) because I am proud with my GOLD IN COLOR NAME on my academic research. Though I have made this nearly couple of months ago, still I am a proud owner of this boring-black-in-color-hard-cover-academic-research-book. Why am I calling it in such a long term? If I can blink my book, I will. Lol.

 

Anyway, it is interesting because of the title *wink*

 

I do look like a nerd. Well, this is the time where I can claim that I’m proud to be one with that book holding in my hand.. =D

 

I score A- for this work and is ready to present it in an International Conference next week (well, I am not really satisfy with my work but that is the best I can give despite of the time limit, exhaustion from personal issues and lacking of resources. Anyway, I have over come them pretty good and it’s over).

 

So, yes. It’s next week babe. Frankly, I am crazily nervous. I have not… em… well, I presented once last year in a conference in my university but that was different as I have other 5 members to backup. This time, I am presenting my own research topic and it is about BLOGGING!

  My juniors can check my work out in our faculty library. Sounds cool to me ^^

 

You heard me? BLOGGING!!!

*Whoohoot*

 

The title of my academic research:

“A Phenomenology Research On Blogging Experience and The Possibility of Self-Therapy For An Undergraduate Student In University Of Malaya”

A friend of me once told me nonchalantly that I can treat my future client/patient by asking them to blog daily for counseling purposes. And I was like, “Hey! that’s a real good idea”. Lol.. So now, who wanna be my clients? =P

 

Haha.. Well, wish me luck. Really. I. Need. Blessing.

Kids Are Creative

I still remember, years before this when I was completing Dr.Diana’s homework, I did explain on why I want to work with children and family population when I become a counselor in future. The reasons are pretty simple. Children are cute, genuine and innocent. They don’t need to cover themselves with masks to please anyone. However, these innocence and originality are easily ‘contaminated’ by the environment, especially by adults’ expectation. Simple examples like, parents will make children to color apple only with red, being disciplined to sit quietly even though they want to run around and wear certain selected color (pink for girls, blue for boys) from the wardrobe.

 

Of course, when it comes to teaching and learning, children should be taught in a proper manner in order to shape discipline and obedient persons. But sometimes, adults might not be aware that creativity and expressiveness of a child are restricted under such environment. Well, I am born in such a family background. So, I can pretty understand the limitation when one is growing up. I think, I can be another da Vincci or Piccasso if my parents and teachers are like Dr.Diana – do whatever we want as long as it is safe and not harmful. Lol.. just joking. Be a curryegg is better =P

 

I guess, having such understanding about originality, genuiness and creativity, I admire my own nieces and nephews sketches. Ya, serious! Although they are simple doodles, I awed at their own artworks.

 

 

I love the way they approached me when we were all gathered at my grandma’s 75th birthday at a restaurant last month and they went like, “Kelly jie jie (which in fact they should call me ah yee or aunt), you see you see! Nice or not?”. One of them will jumped on my laps, another pulled my hand to win my attention and another one just non stop talking. Well, they are 4 of them starting from the age of 8, 6, 5 and 2.

 

 

Their drawing are simple yet original. Believe me when I say this. Most adults (not even myself) is unable to draw something like this if I am to give you a pen and paper now. You will mostly draw a very straight, fine line of a house in a general and accepted way because in reality, they look that way. Or in another word, everyone should draw that ‘standard way’.

 

 

 

I don’t really understand all these creativity and originality stuff until I learned from my lecturers and my courses. Thus, now I am a fans of children’s uncontaminated drawing. Well, it is true.

 

From Ping Kwan – 5 years old

From Guan Rue – 6 years old

 

Another sketches by Guan Rue – 6 years old

Shing Ron – 8 years old

 

But these are not just the reasons of why I want to work with this population. They are some other reasons that actually intrigue my interest. Well, share next time if there is something I can relate with in future posts.

 

P/s: It is good to keep some of your childhood drawings because they are the most original work we have ever done without inserting others’ idea into our masterpiece. Mum has thrown away all my sketches before I turned 7. So, no more… =(

Be Patient, Live Life and Have Faith

As we grow older, we will tend to see things around us more clearly. Probably it is because we take in more responsibilities each and every single new day. Or we start to give higher expectation towards our selves in different areas of life.

 

When these happened, happiness and disappointment reciprocate with each other. Just like a ferris wheel. One moment you find yourself touching the sky and another moment you realize you are so close to ground. That’s when you can connect pretty well with the phrase, ‘ups and downs in life’ which everyone will remind you when you are facing disappointments.

 

I remember I ever come across with a monk who was holding a big stick on both his hands, drawing a huge ‘8’ on sands and explaining this,

 

“Suffering and pain take place when one has strong desire in life. This creates unnecessary needs and expectations which you might not be able to achieve. To reduce suffering and pain, control your desire. You will live a peaceful life”.

 

Well, I think it makes sense to me because by lowering our own desire, we can be clearer with what we actually want in life. When this happens, we can listen better to our own inner voice – not from what others want from us. We can become more acceptance towards our ownselves when results are revealed, whether at work, academic, relationship, health and etc. Life will become lighter, brighter and happier.

 

We can even see things in another perspective when disappointments take place, that’s by leaving whatever we have worked on to the universe, nature, God or you named them.

 

I find myself once in awhile feeling upset and disappointed whenever past events struck me. I know there is nothing I can change in the past and what I can do now is to let them go slowly and completely (and I am doing pretty well). At the same time, allowing myself to experience my present life as much as possible by sharing love and passion with people who care and making full use of my time with meaningful activities.

 

Remember my smile because it is one of my gestures that you will never forget =)

 

I am glad that I am managing myself pretty well and using my time wisely. Thank to all the people around me (especially my family and true friends) who are always caring and loving. I feel accepted and loved for whoever I am during in my best and worst moments. You guys make me feel like home no matter where I am. You know who you are =)

 

So when next time, disappointments slip into the door again, remember: Disappointments are just God’s way of saying, “I’ve got something better. Be patient, live life and have faith”.

 

I believe, something better is awaiting us. So, have faith =)

GPS Can Detect One’s Ex?

I was using this GPS to detect the nearest mall when I was in Johor with my mei mei few days ago and found out this..

 

 

The Store (ex Fajar).

 

I have never realized how powerful a technology can be till I saw this. GPS can seriously detect not just one’s current partner, but EX as well. Whoa… That’s…. Em… Scary.

>.<

Little India at Brickfields

I am thinking, “It’s time to get back to the blogosphere and start rocking again”.

 

Yes, totally! You might not believe when I write this. I have more than thousands of photos in just one week time and hundreds of stories to share. Ok lah.. maybe not hundreds but A FEW!

 

The problem is, I don’t know where to start? Cham.

 

After spending times browsing all over my photo albums, I have finally decided. Let’s start from my Little India experience at Brickfields, Kuala Lumpur which took place last week with both of my good friends – Letchu and Jane.

 

Before going any further with my story, you should know one thing, that is I am no longer a student. I have successfully completed my degree and I am on a ‘personal project’ now. So, I am free once in awhile meeting and hanging out with friends doing random stuff.

 

It all start up with these 2 lovely ladies when one morning, the 3 of us decided to have breakfast in an Indian Restaurant at Brickfields. I have this sudden crave for tosai days before the meet up and I seriously have no idea on that random appetite. Maybe I have curry gene from my ancestors? Emmmm…. *thinking hard*

 

I was the driver, fetching these 2 lovely ladies wandering around the small but crowded area. Of course, Letchu is the main ‘tourist guide’. She was my GPS and best-tosai-searcher. Lol…

 

 

    

So, we went to the recommended restaurant and planted ourselves for almost 2 hours with teh tarik kurang kurang, sangat kurang manis (but still manis) and tosai. Seriously, they make good tosai kertas and tosai biasa, but sadly not rava tosai. I realized not many place can make thin and crunchy rava tosai. Sigh… Of course, good tosai (or even roti canai) should come with good curry and their curries are really nice.

 

 

After the fulfilling breakfast, the three of us really done crazy stuff at crazily hot hour. Obviously, it was both of us, Jane and I who were so excited with the place because we rarely went there.

 

And… what we did?

 

 

 

You are right!

Photography moment with lotsa poses! Plus, haven’t you realized it? I have my new hairstyle which require more attention than ever because after this, I may not keep this style anymore. Unless you say it suits me better than long hair and I look gorgeous in this, then I might consider keeping this unisex hairstyle longer. Lol..

 

 

While both us indulging ourselves in our own world, busy snapping photos like nobody business, there was a person who actually suffered from the pain of waiting and hanging. I mean, being hang with stuff. Lol…

 

 

Letchu was so embarrass with our hyperactive behaviors because there were actually lot of eyes throwing at us. I was like ‘I-am-too-awesome-and-I-don’t-care-how-others-see me’. As a result, she almost have to hide her face into my large yellow back. Sorry dear… =P

 

To make her feel better, I dragged her along and join the ‘crazy Chinese group’ for more photos. Of course, she likes it because we are all ENFPs. Hahaha…. =D

     

 

If you noticed my bare feet, it was because of my jumping attempt. I was doing this jumping on air pose but then failed to capture a good one. So, ya. No photos of my jumping but my bare feet (that’s why Letchu was so embarass to stand there watching me. lol..)

 

Frankly, it has been a long time since the day I enjoyed as much as this. Thank God that I have completed my final semester with Internship report and Academic Writing. I feel younger, lighter and happier now without any burden that dragged me so closed to ground.

 

 

I can again, open my doors for new opportunities that bring me closer to happiness and self actualization. I can again connecting my life again with my family, friends and new contacts.

 

So, that explain why I have thousands of photos within a week. Emmm… well, that’s just normal for curryegg.. =P

P/s: Brickfields is a good place to hangout for good Indian food, cheap accessories and photography.