“Everyone Is A Genius, Including The Fish That Tries to Climb A Tree.

“Everyone is a genius. But if you judge a fish by its ability to climb a tree, it will live its whole life believing that it is stupid” – Albert Einstein.

 

During in my childhood, I often think that I am stupid. One of the reasons is because I hardly understood what was taught by the teachers in all subjects except Art, Music and Science. Often, I received low grades and as a result, I was streamed into back classes which were known as the C, D, E, F, G or H class.

 

There were 10 classes all together and I am glad that I was located somewhere between the 3^rd – 5^th class. Well, I was the only one who is grateful with my academic performance back then because, often academic results were being compared with my other relatives whom at similar age.

 

It was not a good experience to share because after each conversation that involved academic achievement, I will end up feeling stupid, sad and disappointed with myself. Sometimes, I will even feel hopeless with myself because I know I have been trying very hard yet, the result was not promising enough to reach the community’s expectation, especially my parents’.

 

I remembered those days when I became very desperate to succeed and asked my parents to send me to tuition classes, just like my other ‘bright’ friends. I observed and interviewed their success stories with the hope that the same story can apply on me. I hate to be left behind because that kind of feeling is really torturing and unbearable.

 

I know I wasn’t as bright as my friends, but I also know that I am not stupid because I could actually understood the content of any subject taught by my teachers. However, I had an extremely hard time to express my understanding into words during exam. This frustrated me the most.

 

I still remember how I excelled in creating the best mind-map in Kajian Tempatan subject. I still remember my ‘Mini Botanic’ project (herbs and mini plants are planted in a used plastic bottle) won the first place during school’s Science week.

 

I still remember my team members and I won the best English scrapbook because of the creative content. I still remember, my artwork was selected in a local magazine competition and won a consolation prize with my school name on the magazine page. My name was being called by the teacher in duty during school assembly to receive the rewards and being complimented for making the school proud. I still remember the name of the magazine – Tunas Sains and Rakan Sains!

 

Despite of my other achievement, I still feel that I was not bright enough to belong in the ‘smart group’ because according to the school’s test score, I was just an average person. I guess, God heard my desperation and grant me a chance to excel in studies. The year following that, I was sent to Penang to continue my standard 6.

 

My lifestyle had changed and I received more attention and opportunity at school because the number of student throughout standard 6 was only 32. Besides, I had learnt study skills from various resources such as books, role models, teachers, friends and etc. Here is my turning point where everything changed from worse to good, good to better.

 

I began to excel in examination from UPSR, PMR, SPM to STPM. Although the result was not as impressive as other top scholars, still I am thankful and grateful with what I have today because seriously, it’s not easy. For someone who is a visual and audio learner, it is challenging to express ourselves through the typical school test and examination.

 

The only way to succeed is through memorization, repetition and constant practices. These are my secret to succeed which then, granted me a chance to enter University of Malaya for Bachelor of Counseling. Since then, I am happy to call myself a passionate life-long learner because finally, I have understood the meaning and joy of learning after being a typical student for more than 20 years.

 

I do not have to memorize anymore because I have found a way to understand and connecting facts.

I do not have to bore myself to death repeating the standard answer given by people from other century (sounds like alien here uh?)

I do not have to force myself to be what I am not to please people who do not understand the principal of ‘no one size fits all’ pedagogy – just like what Albert Einstein says:

 

 

“Everyone is a genius. But if you judge a fish by its ability to climb a tree, it will live its whole life believing that it is stupid” – Albert Einstein.

 

 

Well, I lie. I am still doing it right now (though in minimal quantity). If you have been reading this whole post till here, you should know that this is actually a quarter of my assignment on Assessment and Technology Pedagogy Integration course with UUM. I could do what I like (which is to draw my thoughts and make them into video clip with special sound effect!). I am doing my assignment and that is why I have not updated my blog for few days. Well, I am applying the 4th Habit from Stephen Covey – First Thing First. Assignment is more important than blogging because it will take 25% of my coursework.

 

So, is it true that everyone is a genius?
If a fish is being forced to climb a tree or there is no possibility for survival, will it at least try? If it succeeds, will the same cycle happen to other fishes? 

 

I am the fish.

Bachelor Of Counseling And I

It has already been 1.5 year since the day I graduated from the Bachelor Of Counseling in University of Malaya and I am very proud to make a shout out that, I love this course and I’ve never regretted in taking it up!

 

Adibah, Rani and I

This 4 years of Bachelor program has won me several things and I am so going to share it right now, taking the chance to answer my B post today! (check out the A-Z April Challenge). However, before I share the following stories, I would like to explain that this course is done locally with majoring in Counseling and minor in Psychology. In normal institute, the Counseling course can only be taken after the completion of degree in Psychology (for 3 years). In University of Malaya, we can take the course in degree straight away but has a 1 year extension, meaning it is a 4 years course.

 

There is one important gain that I have received from this course and it is the knowledge through the subject of Psychology. It is not just a subject but more of a life studies to me where I learn about human’s thoughts, behavior and characteristic. To understand why human act or behave in a certain way, we can understand them through these 3 main areas – Affect, Behavior and Cognitive. Of course, if you are interested, you can always Google them or follow any Psychology website in your mobile phone. Well, how does this benefit me? Seriously, it is immeasurable. The knowledge is timeless and transferrable into any field or even any life situation! Thanks to the great work from those respected Psychologists such as Jean Piaget, Ivan Pavlov, Skinner, Albert Bandura, Abraham Maslow, Gardner Murphy and etc.

 

Same goes to the Counseling skills that I have learned where I can apply them into my relationship with others including my parents, family, partner, friends, colleagues and even strangers. To me, Counseling is more of a communication skills where you can emphasize others feeling, understand where they come from and then seek the best way to communicate the idea according to different age group. Seriously, this whole idea about Psychology and Counseling is really interesting and I could feel my eyes widen and smile is curved while typing this out. However, having these counseling skills and knowledge don’t make me a better person or communicator, but having a better awareness about myself and others. I am still learning along the way, but in a harder way because knowing the knowledge always pushes me to be more sensitive and structural when it comes to communication with others which can be tired at times.

 

 

Still, I love what I have learned from this course.

 

Besides knowledge and skills, I would say that this course has taught me to see and value life from different perspective. It teaches me important values such as gratitude, responsible, be humble, creativity, be assertive, be understanding and many more. Probably it is because of the design of the course, or probably it is because of my lecturer where good values are instilled into the students’ personal growth not just to become an accountable counselor but as a human being. Humanity is what often being emphasized in each lesson. I am grateful that I could see strengths and uniqueness in everyone whom I have come across to and gain insights and wisdoms along the way. Being a teacher for over 400 kids, I could greatly exercise what I’ve learned to each of them. This is the beauty of my course.

 

My first visit to New Delhi, India on last February 2013.

 
Note: What is in your mind when you see these 2 pictures? Is your country’s demographic any closer to this? If yes, how do you view your life? If no, how do you view their life?

I think I have left this important point that I learn about myself more than before. That’s how I could come up with a long write up about myself few years back (read here). I have these 3 great lecturers whom appreciate uniqueness and encourage the search of trueself. They have never failed to spend their time and energy in helping each of us to grow as an individual and appreciate who we are and where we come from. I still remember that each day, I was looking forward to attend their classes and felt the joy of being nurtured with care and love. Their names shall always be remembered – Dr. Diana, Dr. Nicole and Dr. Haslee. Thank you for your great lesson and making a difference in my life. May the joy and love I have gained impact others’ lives too.

 

Well, when it comes to love and joy, I shall never forget my Counseling buddies. Throughout these 4 years of course, I gained true friendship. We had been through ups and downs together, and still being so close to each other probably it’s because we have understood each other so well through various Counseling activities and humanistic lessons.  Help, open communication and sharing were easily done among many of us. There is almost no secret among ourselves, just like a family. Of course, we did have conflict but it doesn’t make us apart.

 

 

 

From these 48 coursemates, there are 6 special people whom I have learned and loved so much. We even named ourselves as ‘The Birdies’. We know each other background stories, we share love stories, we share idea, we share dreams, we share bed (yay!), we share cosmetic items, we share the car, we share birthday present (and wedding present too!) and we share future together. Ahhhwww.. thinking of these have made myself feel warm and happy. If there is one thing I am forced to trade off, I know I will never ever, ever, ever trade this friendship because they are my greatest support system. Ahhww…

 

  Nearly 2 years of being apart but friendship remains strong.
(Couldn’t find the 6 birdies picture at the moment)

 

And now, with my Bachelor Of Counseling academic background, I gained my first job as a fellow in Teach For Malaysia (TFM). Just as a quick sharing, Teach For Malaysia is a movement to address and fight for education inequity in the country. We share the same mission that ‘one day, all students in Malaysia will have the opportunity to attain an excellent education’. To my loyal readers (let me know if you’re still here as I know I haven’t blogged for many many months), you might have not heard much about my stories in joining TFM. It seems like there are a few pieces of lost puzzle. Well, don’t worry. I know I will get you there, soon.. :)

My very first group of Form 4 students in SMK Ampang Pecah.

 

Thank you to all my lecturers, course designers and my awesome coursemates. You have made my life journey more meaningful and successful. Thank you and I love you.

 

P/S: I feel like furthering my Master in Counseling after this. Let see.

 

Related post on Blogging A-Z April Challenge:
A – A Promise.
B – Bachelor Of Counseling (Current)
C – C Is The Most Interesting Alphabet!

Love At The Door

Do you know what is the best gift from a lecturer who has taught me for 3 years?
Or should I ask, what will make me touched and cried for the rest of my life?

 

Lol. It seems like I am exaggerate my words but then, that’s how I feel when I saw THIS:

 

Closer view:

 

It was last Thursday, when Dibah visited the faculty and thought of giving Dr. Diana (The Queen) a visit at her office. Unfortunately, she was not there and we thought of leaving the place and visit her another day. Before we left, to our surprise, we spotted our name on her office door!

 

Ahhhwww… isn’t she lovely? She remembered us and make her greeting at the door. Seriously, I have never thought of a lecturer will have the time and heart to make this effort. It’s just… so.. touching. I can feel my existence in her heart and, be remembered and appreciated. That’s why, all my coursemates and I love her so much because she did so many things for us in the past 3 years, not just love on the door but on food, paper, movie and her teaching as well.

 

  I am her supervisee for academic research (thesis). That’s why my name is there =D

 

I will remember our Pizza Day, Movie Day, Art Day and Make-Up Day for the rest of my life. She is so generous, loving and wise. I bet, everyone in the class, even my junior agree with my statement. I am telling the truth~

 

I promise myself that one day, when I am an educator, I want to care and love my students like my Dr. Diana. Never be ego so that I am able to understand and learn from my students. That’s a piggy promise I make for myself.

 

 

Thank you Dr. Diana for your love not just at the door but in the air too. I will see you on the stage tomorrow!

P/s: My convocation is tomorrow afternoon at  UM. I can’t believe that the BIG DAY is arriving! If you can come, do let me know =D

 

Love,
curryegg

I Am The Counselor!

Lately, I have been busy preparing and conducting for my counseling sessions, both individual and group counseling. They are my assignments for this semester. I have to conduct 5 sessions each for individual and group counseling. The total number of clients I have to get is 3+4 = 7 clients. Yeah, so basically, I need 10 sessions and 7 clients.

So far, I have conducted 2 individual sessions and 1 group session. Bravo for myself.

Phuuuffff....

That also explain why I rarely blog of late.

Ever since I have stepped into my 3rd year, I know things are getting tougher. Serious effort and full commitment must be given in order to conduct a good counseling session. To explain what is a good counseling session is I want to be a real counselor, creating an effective counseling session in which I can really help my client rather than just for assignment. Well, what is the point to be a pretended (fake) counselor who want to score high mark in assignment or test but fail to help his or hers client?

Of course, I am not a real counselor yet but believe me, I am almost there. By giving generous amount of effort and honest sincerity in helping, I know I will achieve my goal in no time. Other than my own effort, helps from others especially my friends has lighten up my way. They have allowed me to practice whatever I have learned in these few years. The 'they' whom I am referring here is my clients. The 7 confirmed clients who are already in my list.

Thanks my friends for your willingness to help. No one other than myself can imagine how hard to get a number of ideal clients. Ideal in the sense that compatible with my time, date and place. I took 3 weeks to look for my clients. 3 weeks to fit in my schedule.

During that entire 3 weeks, I was stress and worried. I thought there were no hopes anymore and I might force my best friends to be my clients if, I still fail to get any. Before hope turns into despair, I was visited by lady luck who has changed my sad ending into something positive. I believe you can guess what happen next. I have volunteers who can be my clients!

:D

So, what I should do now is to perform well and at the same time learn from my clients and lecturers. I have been given this opportunity to perform and improve myself although they are just assignments. Well, there will be no experience if I don't give this a good try, right? Trust me, this is the starting in producing a professional counselor.

Yeah, here I am:

the Kelly Tan counselor

So, who wanna be in my waiting list? You get discount if you register now. Better hurry than sorry.

:)

*wink*

Why I Pick Existential Theory For My Counseling Session?

As I was cleaning my files in my laptop this morning, I have discovered a few interesting works of mine. They are my assignments. Well, a real sincere works of mine I should say. I thought of sharing one of my work here, a work from a future counselor? Haha.. Who knows?

Maybe this is a great idea for you to understand a little bit more about me. Enjoy reading this long long work of mine.


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Which theory will you pick for your future counseling session?
Existential Theory


I have been thinking really hard lately in deciding which type of theory might suit me best. It took me about months. I have read all over the book (Theory and Practice of Counseling and Psychotherapy), made some researches on the internet and even discussed my dilemma with my friends and finally, I have come into conclusion that I am picking Existential Therapy.


For sure, there are good reasons behind this pick. One of the main reasons is that, I have realized the key concepts of this therapy are very much like a spiritual approach in which the existentialisms are trying to understand the meaning of being a human and how human find their goals in life. These philosophical ideas gained no place in me until I have learnt them from my granny’s death, yoga class (The Art Of Leaving) and some insightful stories from others.

I have realized that, lately, as I am growing wiser (not older), I become more aware of death. Maybe it is due to my grandma’s death which was a year ago. I witnessed her last exhalation in the oxygen together with my mother, aunt and my cousin in a public hospital. It was an unexpected death for all of us as she showed no obvious symptoms and the doctor didn’t even expect her to leave so fast.

Frankly, I wasn’t prepared at all. The feeling of shock, disappointment, fear and emptiness haunted me for months. Having to accept the death of a loved one who I have strong emotional connection with is really hard. Really, really hard. Even now, I am still missing her smile, her voice, her joke and her warm, caring hand.

From my granny’s death, I have learnt something valuable about life. I start to wonder why human are born into this world and die in the end. If we know that we can’t stay eternally in this world, why do God creates us and brings us into this planet at the very first place? What is the meaning of being born into this world? Why do I have to study and contribute to the society if I know I will die in any minute? Why do I even bother to earn money as I can’t bring any item with me when I am no longer here?


As I explored more and more questions, I started to shiver. I felt powerless and lost all at the same time because I know, once I am dead, I will have no contact with anyone who is important in my life. Not even able to bring anything (including money, house or car) to the unknown world.

Having this awareness about death is frightening at first. However, it turns out to be something positive at the end and help me to understand life better. I start to be able to see why I am here and how I can live a better life. I believe that God wants us to be in this world to experience love, hardship, happiness, sadness, disappointment and you named them. He wants us to share those experiences with other significant people in our life. These experiences are something valuable and they can turn into energy and motivation if we manage to see things in different perspectives.

Besides grandma’s death, the knowledge which I have gained from Buddha teaching as well as from The Art of Living have allowed me to view birth and death in a more motivating way, and leading a more purposeful life. I start to value life and appreciate people around me (before it is too late). In case you might ask, The Art of Living is a non-profit organization which teaches yoga, meditation and spiritual knowledge (including Christianity and Buddhism). It really contributes a lot to my adulthood development. I start to read and learn more about spiritual learning in order to live a meaningful, happy and wonderful life and give contribution to the society – by touching others life. That’s my main goal lately.

I know I will die in any minute or even millisecond while typing this assignment. No one can stop themselves from dying no matter how hard you try as this is what we call, the fact of life. I may die because of certain disastrous phenomenal like Tsunami, Earthquake or accident or I may die because of epidemic biology infection like Swine Flu (H1N1), Bird flu or SARS. Isn’t that scary?


Knowing that human’s life is so fragile, it has made me wanting to work hard in achieving my self-actualizing goal by going as far as I can. I don’t need to earn big money, gain big name or married a handsome husband to reach my long-term goal. No. But I want to give my best contribution to the people using whatever I have – knowledge, love, humor, skills and support. Emm… Maybe being a counselor in future? An expressive art therapist? Or a journalist? Well, I don’t know yet and I am still searching.


Besides the incident of my grandma’s death and the belief which I am holding on, I have discovered that I am a type of person who like seeing the big picture and then, work on the small part in order to achieve the big goal. Besides, I am also a person who prefer perceiving thing using feeling instead of cognitive thinking. Thus, I prefer humanistic approach rather than other approaches such as REBT and behavior.

My self-discovery is proven when I found out that I am an ENFP person according to Myer Briggs or Carl Jung Typology. Thus, this is also one of the reasons why I choose Existential theory.

As far as I understand about Existential Therapy, it focuses on the meaning of being a human. Thus, the Existential therapist focuses on helping people in discovering the meaning of their lives when they are facing dilemmas such as isolation, meaninglessness and alienation in their lives. Having this root idea in mind, that is how the basic dimensions of the human condition evolve: 1) The capacity for self-awareness; 2) freedom and responsibility; 3) creating one’s identity and establishing meaningful relationships with others; 4) the search for meaning, purpose, values and goals, anxiety as a condition of living ; 6) and awareness of death and non-being. These basic dimensions of the human condition explained by the existential philosophers and psychotherapists are really true and I do agree with them.

I find it really important to help clients by first increasing their awareness on that certain area by exploring the factors influencing the person, alternatives, motivation and personal goals. This is helpful to allow the client to scan the problem at conscious level.

Next, I do find that letting the client know we are free and responsible to our own lives without being judged by others are important as it will give confident to the client to control his life. Besides, client will realize that he is the only controller over his own life. Thus, he has to the path that he desires and responsible with his own choice and action.

Emphasizing on the relationship with others are as equality as important with other basic dimensions. Every one of us has to be aware that we can’t live without the presence of others. Just close your eyes and imagine that there is a mother who is giving birth to her new born baby. Do you think it is possible for the baby to be delivered alone without the help from others?




Maybe it is possible but difficult I suppose. I do agree with this phrase, “No man is an island”. No matter how important someone might be for us, we should not forget our own values, belief and true-self by succumb to others needs. It is important to know our limits when we are with others. Next, the idea of searching for meaning is what I like the most in this theory. This idea is one of the most important elements in life because, without meaning there is no life.

Awareness of death and non-being is another important element which I believe each of us should be aware of. It is a fact that we can never run away. By keeping the idea that every human will die in the end, it will allow us to live life as meaningful as possible. Besides, we will not waste any valuable time by doing nothing. Last but not least, treating anxiety as a condition of living is important in order to let client being in touch with reality.

Most of us dislike facing with death, challenges, difficulty, conflict and stress situations and we tend to be running away from them. However, not many of us are aware that these situations are unavoidable as long as we are living in this world. To face these situations, we can only face them with good preparation and courageous. We have to be prepared in facing with anxiety ( existential anxiety, normal anxiety and neurotic anxiety) as it will happen no matter how we try to escape. Anyway, we can try to minimize the effect on us. Besides, this effort of facing anxiety also shows that we are ready for personal change.

This theory might sound simple, just like Person-Centered Therapy by having no specific techniques, unlike Gestalt Therapy with its empty chair or Psychoanalysis with is interpretation of dream. Thus, one has to have strong understanding about human and life in order to apply this theory. Well, this is my challenges as I am still learning and exploring the real meaning of life. I realize that spiritual belief can’t be developed just a day. It requires long-life learning and exploration. So, I am still here, looking and exploring by first understand about my true-self.




Besides, I do realize that it is not easy to make others to understand and find their own life goal especially children, teenager and adolescence. I guess, the cognitive and spiritual development isn’t complete yet during at that age. I am saying this because I remember how I am so innocent and blurred whenever some adults (like my parents, aunts and uncles) who asked about my life direction and what do I want in life when I was a teenager. Anyway, I know it is not possible to apply this theory in my future counseling session with children or teenager if only if I have mastered the skills, right? I know there are ways and I just have to include those existential awareness in the sessions.






Being able to find a theory which suits me, as a future counselor is really a good news. Starting by today, I should explore myself more into this Existential theory as well as other spiritual teaching. I believe they are good for my own development as well as for helping others. Let’s start the exploration, again!


P/s: It seriously took me a real long day to finish this assignment.. Pheww...

The Power Of Psychodrama In Group Counseling

Today, I just experienced the power of psychodrama in group counseling or known as group therapy in my class, together with all my course mates. It is my last class for Group Counseling and I am glad it ended fruitfully. My lecturer manage to expose us to Psychodrama, a way to explore a person through dramatic action on their issues, problems, feeling or dreams in a group of people.

It is developed by Jacob. L. Moreno and has strong element of theater. That's mean, there will be the actor and the audience involved.

(What is Psychodrama? Look here in Wiki)

Photo: www.mailm.co.uk

Photo: www.vietradeinchile.com

Frankly, I have no idea at all in this therapy as, it is as new as an iPod phone to me. Lol.. Ok. I mean it is totally new. I have never read nor hear about the content, silly me. I am glad that my lecturer has introduced this therapy to us today because it has catalyzed my cognitive thinking again.


P/s: Lately I have been thinking a lot and that has resulted a growing number of grey hair. Sigh... I am an old-lady in no time. I think I should really reduce my self-reflecting and problem solving moment...
Anyway, if I can connect with my self and share my finding with the people around me (which can benefit you), isn't that good?

Ok then, grow more grey hair if you want.
sob.. =(


A short summary on what we did


To start this therapy session, we need a volunteer who is brave enough to try it in front of a group of people. In this case, one of my friend volunteered and prepared to face the challenge. She was asked to pick an issue, fully focus on it and then, think of a few people who might involve. Besides, she was asked to reflect her feeling. When this initial stage was done, she can start picking anybody from the group to play any role, either as the people (example: father, mother, sibling, friend or etc) or her feeling (depressed, anger, disappointment, happy and etc).

Photo: www.flourbluffschools.net

Once this was done, the 'actress' can start expressing her hidden feeling in whichever way she want to the person/s she has issue with. When she was told to do so, I could already feel my friend had really committed herself into the play - her play. She was allowed to freely express herself, voice up her feeling and thinking and act exactly what she wants. Well, she did. Also, every role-player was allowed to express whatever they think the role will say and do to the actress.


How I feel

Warm tears run down my cheeks and I didn't know what to do, other than grabbing a packet of tissue from my bag. I realized that I was not the only one who was touched with the play as I could spot some watery eyes. The whole session was so real when emotions from everyone including the actress, role-players and the audience started rushing in, taking part like we were in the situation. That was seriously amazing and I should say, this is better than the movie.


Findings

Self-reflection and catharsis (the hidden emotions which had finally burst out) took place during this psychodrama session. I realize that it bring positive effect to the participant (the actor/actress) in which he/she can see the issue clearly, gaining insight and express the unexpressed feeling. This will help the person in facing and dealing with the highlighted issue properly when he/she comes back to reality. Besides, he/she will have confident and positive energy after the session.

Seriously, I am really proud of my friend. She is willing to share her problem and brave enough to face the it. That's something I should learn from her. Bravo girl!

Photo: www.ece.nctu.edu.tw

This Psychodrama session ended in a very motivating way in which every role-players will express their feeling to the main actress and give supporting words and hugs. This is something positive and should be carried out in every group counseling. My lecturer did tell us in class before that never leave a wounded wound open. It should be stitched and healed.


Emmmm....
The class had been ended like.... 3 hours ago but my emotion is still wandering around my mind. While in the session, some personal issues of mine appeared and struck my mind. I believe, the issues are similar with my friend's and they need my attention. This is good as I should go into my unfinished business (unsolved problems) and deal with them.


What a powerful therapy I should say.
Maybe I can go further in this area and explore more. This therapy can be very helpful to people and I hope I can master it.


Long way to go....


By the way, any expert here in Psychodrama?
Will you be a participant in this group counseling? Share with me your thoughts. It is good to hear from you.

P/s: Sigh... my font (size) in this post is going crazy again. I wonder what is the problem? Emm... hope that it is not affecting your reading.. :(