Dare To Dream

Today,

when I was observing one of my teammates teaching in the classroom, I received a sad news. A boy, whom I met and talked to during in my motivational speech in a new school last Friday was dead. He met with an accident and passed away in the morning.


I was stunned when I read the news.
I couldn’t believe that, the Form 5 boy whom I met just few days ago has left. Although I just met him for an hour, he and his gang have left a strong impression on me.

Photo credit: Nuruddin.

Surprisingly, I had been thinking this bunch of boys since the past 2 days. The 3 of them were the ‘talking group’ during my 1 hour sharing session, which lead me to facilitate them more during activity so that I could understand the reason why they talked. I found out that 1 boy was struggling to put thoughts into words, hence his friends helped him by translating from Tamil into Malay words that lead to constant laughter.

Photo credit: Angie & Kit Yen

I managed to read this boy’s Life Map and found out that he wanted to get married in 5 years time and secure a good job so that he can take care of his wife in 10 years time. I still remembered, how supportive I am towards his intention to take responsibility of his future and partner, and even prompt them further on how he could secure a job of his choice and support his family. I couldn’t remember the exact phrase but I have vivid picture of him saying that he wants to further studies, secure a job and go travel in future. Then we laughed together before I left for another group facilitation.


P/s: I used to think if a person set him/herself a marriage plan at a very young age (24-25), he/she is not ambitious enough. However, being married, I must say my perspective has changed.

Above: One of the students’ life map

After the news, I did not have a proper time to digest the information until I was done with school visit and caught in a heavy jam. The night, rain and quiet car had naturally created a space for me to reflect on life.


”How fragile it can be.”
”The ability to raise in every morning is an opportunity to learn life another day”
”Today might be your last day of seeing this person”
”Every person you met is a ‘yuen fern’”
”Life is short”
”Do things that you will not regret of”


P/p/s: am just blasting my thoughts in random sequence.


Then, it lead me to think of today’s team’s fun question lead by Angie on “If you are famous, how will it looks like” and I excitedly shared my answer (because, I occasionally thought of this too since years ago #buapaisheh). I confidently shared that I want to write a book that inspire people. I want to write based on my experiences. I want to write about personal development related topic. I want to be famous because of the legacy I left before the end of a journey.


Well, at the end of my sharing, I was laughing and told my group that partially, they were jokes. However, at this point of time, thinking of the boy whom I just shared, I know that I want my words to come true (at least half). I want to continue touching lives and help people, including myself to gain self awareness, grow and reach our ultimate potential. Suddenly, I feel that to be able to do things we like and satisfied with personal achievement are seriously a privilege.



The only thing that hinder me from achieving these are my inaction. I dreamed, I planned but I did not take action.


I don’t know how I could stand the heat (didn’t switch on the fan) and stayed awake till midnight, oh well.. I am glad that I am writing something.


Note: I am grateful for the opportunity given although it was a last minute call (like 15 hours before). There were 112 students and it was successfully conducted by me with the support from Angie. Listening from 2 girls who were brave enough to accept my request by going to the front of the stage and read their 5 and 10 years go to the crowds. 1 of the girl would like to pursue her dream to be a fashion design in overseas and would want to come back to her Orang Asli community to design clothes for them (also to her teacher, Kit Yen). Another girl shared that she wants to be rich by owning luxurious cars (with specific name slike Ferrari, Lamborghini & etc) and give good life to her family. Hearing from them caused goose bumps all around my hands.

Colourful envelopes that contain students’ life map and dreams.

I am a dream collector

By the way, here was the closure activity (known as exit ticket) where students will have to write their hopes and possible action taken on their Life Map. Next, they will insert their paper into the colourful envelope with name, class and ambition written boldly on it. Then, they passed their past-presence-future to me. The plan is that, they will collect them again at the end of the year to reflect back what they have written and take necessarily action to achieve their dreams.


Dream will always be a dream when you think and do nothing bout it. Writing down the dream will be the first step in turn it into reality.



Side note: This blog post is actually written on 19th January 2015 but could only be published today due to some issue with Blogger. Anyway, here I am, trying my best to post this up before end of the week.

“Everyone Is A Genius, Including The Fish That Tries to Climb A Tree.

“Everyone is a genius. But if you judge a fish by its ability to climb a tree, it will live its whole life believing that it is stupid” – Albert Einstein.

 

During in my childhood, I often think that I am stupid. One of the reasons is because I hardly understood what was taught by the teachers in all subjects except Art, Music and Science. Often, I received low grades and as a result, I was streamed into back classes which were known as the C, D, E, F, G or H class.

 

There were 10 classes all together and I am glad that I was located somewhere between the 3^rd – 5^th class. Well, I was the only one who is grateful with my academic performance back then because, often academic results were being compared with my other relatives whom at similar age.

 

It was not a good experience to share because after each conversation that involved academic achievement, I will end up feeling stupid, sad and disappointed with myself. Sometimes, I will even feel hopeless with myself because I know I have been trying very hard yet, the result was not promising enough to reach the community’s expectation, especially my parents’.

 

I remembered those days when I became very desperate to succeed and asked my parents to send me to tuition classes, just like my other ‘bright’ friends. I observed and interviewed their success stories with the hope that the same story can apply on me. I hate to be left behind because that kind of feeling is really torturing and unbearable.

 

I know I wasn’t as bright as my friends, but I also know that I am not stupid because I could actually understood the content of any subject taught by my teachers. However, I had an extremely hard time to express my understanding into words during exam. This frustrated me the most.

 

I still remember how I excelled in creating the best mind-map in Kajian Tempatan subject. I still remember my ‘Mini Botanic’ project (herbs and mini plants are planted in a used plastic bottle) won the first place during school’s Science week.

 

I still remember my team members and I won the best English scrapbook because of the creative content. I still remember, my artwork was selected in a local magazine competition and won a consolation prize with my school name on the magazine page. My name was being called by the teacher in duty during school assembly to receive the rewards and being complimented for making the school proud. I still remember the name of the magazine – Tunas Sains and Rakan Sains!

 

Despite of my other achievement, I still feel that I was not bright enough to belong in the ‘smart group’ because according to the school’s test score, I was just an average person. I guess, God heard my desperation and grant me a chance to excel in studies. The year following that, I was sent to Penang to continue my standard 6.

 

My lifestyle had changed and I received more attention and opportunity at school because the number of student throughout standard 6 was only 32. Besides, I had learnt study skills from various resources such as books, role models, teachers, friends and etc. Here is my turning point where everything changed from worse to good, good to better.

 

I began to excel in examination from UPSR, PMR, SPM to STPM. Although the result was not as impressive as other top scholars, still I am thankful and grateful with what I have today because seriously, it’s not easy. For someone who is a visual and audio learner, it is challenging to express ourselves through the typical school test and examination.

 

The only way to succeed is through memorization, repetition and constant practices. These are my secret to succeed which then, granted me a chance to enter University of Malaya for Bachelor of Counseling. Since then, I am happy to call myself a passionate life-long learner because finally, I have understood the meaning and joy of learning after being a typical student for more than 20 years.

 

I do not have to memorize anymore because I have found a way to understand and connecting facts.

I do not have to bore myself to death repeating the standard answer given by people from other century (sounds like alien here uh?)

I do not have to force myself to be what I am not to please people who do not understand the principal of ‘no one size fits all’ pedagogy – just like what Albert Einstein says:

 

 

“Everyone is a genius. But if you judge a fish by its ability to climb a tree, it will live its whole life believing that it is stupid” – Albert Einstein.

 

 

Well, I lie. I am still doing it right now (though in minimal quantity). If you have been reading this whole post till here, you should know that this is actually a quarter of my assignment on Assessment and Technology Pedagogy Integration course with UUM. I could do what I like (which is to draw my thoughts and make them into video clip with special sound effect!). I am doing my assignment and that is why I have not updated my blog for few days. Well, I am applying the 4th Habit from Stephen Covey – First Thing First. Assignment is more important than blogging because it will take 25% of my coursework.

 

So, is it true that everyone is a genius?
If a fish is being forced to climb a tree or there is no possibility for survival, will it at least try? If it succeeds, will the same cycle happen to other fishes? 

 

I am the fish.

Dream Big As We Only Live Once

The theme of this post itself has already inspired me to Do More Than Dream.

Yes. The moment when I visualize and plan for the topic I want to include in each alphabet (I am still thinking about X-Y-Z as they seem to be the hardest!), instantly I could think of the theme for D.

I want to blog not just about my dream, but about my friends, my blog readers’ and my students’ dreams, and I made it! *cheerfully typing out more words on keyboard*. However, due to time issue, I will just focus in my students’ dreams.

Here is a story about what happened yesterday in the classroom:

Yesterday, I had a class with 1SP3 and was very mad with them for not finishing homework although second chance has been given. Hence, consequence was given by asking them to stand till they complete their homework. While discussing homework, some of them still showed misbehavior in the classroom which we agreed that it is an act of disrespect to the teacher and classmates, and not giving their best. Hence, action was immediately implemented where some of them had to stay back till they complete their work.

Seriously, I was real unhappy. I am thinking to myself, is this what I signed up for as a Teach For Malaysia fellow. Am I going to waste my 2 years for fellowship and receive such work from them? Will they grow and become a respected person in future that can contribute to the society? The answer is no.

 

I drove home completely exhausted after staying back for 15 minutes. Teaching is not an easy job and I realize this since last year however, I keep my faith that this 2 years of journey is going to be worth it in term of helping other individuals to grow and be a better leader for themselves. Well, I know I grow so much too in these several months.

 

I go back home feeling so restless till this morning, I decided to make a short blog about the ‘Dreams’. As I am looking at all the pictures which I had taken yesterday, a sense of happiness is formed and inspire to live my new day ambitiously.

 

Here are the photos that I meant. They were told about the Blogging A-Z Challenge and I asked if they are interested to participate because I want to feature them in my blog with the dreams they have. Most of them have low mastery in English (even numeracy too) but they told me that they want to try to write it in English. I am so touched by their effort seriously. I don’t even have the courage to try when I was at their age T.T

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

I lam touched by his dream: He dreams that one day, he can confidently use English as a form of communication and enter UKM (one of the university in Malaysia).

    

 

Looking at their dreams, they have made me understand what they want and value most in their life. I am grateful to read that some of their dreams are about taking care of their parents, bringing them for holiday and live a happy family. This is something that I am looking forward too besides just a merely career ambition. They took quite long moment to think, write and decorate their paper because Ms. Kai Lee (me) told them that what they wrote will come true so they have to be really careful and serious with their dreams. Well, according to psychology, it is true. What you think will result in action.

Are their dreams big enough to be considered as Dream Big? Well, I think they are plus.. they are all beautiful dreams.. <3

What about mine?
They are seriously a lot! - to have a happy and loving marriage, have kids, write educational books, go Japan and Paris…… and they go on and on and on…


And now, as a teacher for over 400+ students, I dream that in 10-20 years time, I will see all of them living their dreams.

Live Life To The Fullest

This is my first time updating my blog using my phone. It feels pretty uncomfortable because of its size. Anyway, it's good to try other alternative to have my self-talk before the sleep takes over.

Sorry for not updating my blog as often as I used to be though deep inside me, I always wanted to share my latest thoughts and experiences. There are so many things I wanna share here however, when time, energy and work are taken into further consideration, I become demotivated. Marking books or lesson planning seem to be a smarter choice of spending the night before sleep.

Ok, lets put aside of my work and read my thoughts. When I was a counseling student, I always worried that my public visibility in the blogosphere or in the social media will affect my professionalism as a counsellor. Imagine if a client who read your blog come to you and receive counseling services while in his or hers mind know the romantic proposal you have or food that you dislike. That is against the ethics as counseling should not be in dual relationships.

Now that I am a teacher in these 2 years of fellowship, i hVe different worries. I am concerned that the posts I wrote and will write might affect my students respond towards me as and individual and my teaching. It is hard to imagine to let the students see another side(s) of the teacher when they should focus more in their own learning and development.

Well, being in my second year of teaching, I am happy to share that I M happy to just be myself whether in the offline or online world because I am genuine from the inside out. The person whom I am in the classroom is the same as in the staff room. The person who is refilling fuel in the petrol station is the same as the person who went to Bangkok to have an amazing trip. The person who cried over a sad Hong Kong drama series is still the same S the person who is blogging here. Probably the only difference is the name: from Kai Lee to Kelly and from Kelly to curryegg.

Gaining insights and wisdoms throughout the years have taught me to appreciate and accepting myself as an unique individual. Besides, I have learnt to treat my life as my learning platform. Hence, I become more relaxed and love being the person I love to be.

I love this self love experiences. Guess that's why I could live life to the fullest despite of the daily ups and downs I am facing. Thank you for still reading and following my blog. This is something I would want to treasure the most.

Just a quick sharing. During in the beginning of the year my 5 classes, I have proudly and confidently told my students that my new year resolution and by big goal for this year is to see them transform and write their success stories in my book.

That is a promise I made to myself and to them. I don't know why the idea struck me. Well, I think it has been keeping somewhere in my brain that I have never discovered. Hence, I will start my little project by first updating my blog and shared it publicly andouille so that I start working on it.

Here is a picture I took on last Sunday in Publika, KL. I love it so much! Nice?